The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
The focus of this reading is reversing old ways of thinking. I criticized myself often, felt unloved and unwanted, thought I was ugly, fat, and stupid, and didn't think there was any way out. Because of the abuse I grew up with, and the alcoholism/addiction I've been exposed to as an adult, I guess I was addicted to the negative ways of thinking, along with the sick people.
All of my alanon activities over time, have helped me reverse these old ways of thinking, especially fear, pain, risk-taking, and my own abuse of myself. Listening to others is especially curative. I'm a grateful member everyday. :)
Hi Lynne, its Wendy P, On reading your sharing, I can relate so much to how you have felt in the past, as with what I grew up with, all the abuse,by the time I was given, and found Al-Anon, I had shown the World and everyone in it, that I was perfect, but on the inside I felt that I was a defect, in all ways. It was only after I was in Al-Anon that I saw what I was doing, and why.
It has taken me an awfully long time, with a lot of work, working my program, watching my behaviour, that I know now that if I am not important to anyone else, I am important to myself. I, too, am a work in progress, as my effects can still rattle my chains. But, with the program, it doesn't take me long to sort myself out, and get myself back on track. I respect my Serenity too much to give it away.
I, too, Lynne, want to praise you for the way you have kept sharing, on this Forum. I can remember what it was like, with all the sharings, and how much it has changed since then, and it breaks my Heart, to see what we did have, with what we have now.
As Al-Anon has saved my life, many times over, and has given me a life, also, the Courage To Change Into the Person, I was always, meant to be.
{{{Wendy}}} Thanks so much for posting. When I think about what I've really been through, and certainly others have it/had it worse, I feel amazed I survived. To hate oneself so much, and then make a comeback , is rather a miracle. I have Betty and all of MIP for helping me along my journey. Grateful member always, :)
