The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
This reading today is helping me with my situation, of constantly feeling pressured by my spouse to live full-time together again. I am not ready nor willing at this time. The reading says that it is important to pay attention to our own behavior thoughts, and feelings. The reading goes on to say we should not let others walk all over us. It doesn't mean we should ignore our loved ones, but we are encouraged to evaluate our choices. We need to rely on ourselves to make our situation better.
So this is what I'm trying to do. After 20 something years of living with an unpredictable, mean, and all the other things that go with the alcoholic, I got my own place near my son and live there half the week. I'm in my 7th year and I love it very much except for the travel. My spouse has about a year and a half of recovery and thinks a person is fully fine after this amount of time. So I have regular pressure to take an action I'm not ready to take. I don't know when I will be willing to live full time with my spouse again. I'm doing what's best for me, but it's not easy. Any ESH anyone has would be appreciated.
Hello anewdayeveryday. It's so nice to see someone on the board besides me! Yes boundaries are vital to my serenity and it's taken years to get them working for me most of the time. Progress not perfection. I heard on this board years ago, that someone said she had resigned from the doormat club. That phrase has stayed with me and always will. I used to be everyone's doormat and now I am no one's.
It is with great sadness that I tell you Betty passed from lung cancer right before covid. She had been my sponsor for about 7 years. Please feel free to write on this board. I try to check in everyday. You can also PM me. Welcome back, Lyne
Hi I can certainly relate to surviving turmoil and drama, as within my Family I have abundance of it. With being Married to 2 Alcoholics, I never saw any recovery, but what helped me was, learning about what the Disease meant, and why and what the Alcoholics did what they did, so I could watch to see if I was reacting or responding to it. Also, asking many questions to recovering Alcoholics, going to as many Open Meetings of Both.
I learnt, that, recovering Alcoholics need an awful lot of time, for their thoughts and feelings to be come clear, that they needed and awful lot of help from other recovering ones to understand what was happening with them, and to them. I learnt that becoming Sober, didn't mean happily ever after, and brought many, many more Questions, for both the Recovering one, and the Non Al-Alcoholic. Through all of that I began to understand what it was all about.
Lyne, You have to be True to yourself, I have recently had to make a very hard decision to Let one of My beloved Great Grand Children go, and let her decide if she wants to be part of my life.I am now living with the feelings assorted with it. But I have to believe in myself, I am just so grateful for having My Higher Power, and my program to help me through it. Al-Anon has taught me, that what ever is good for me, has to be good for others. It is a selfish program, a true love of self, it teaches me that I have a right to live in Peace. Trust yourself, you are a very strong person, who works a very strong program.
Today, I choose what Drama, and Turmoil I want to deal with in my life, because it will always be here, watching and waiting for me to deal with it. I don't live with the Active phase of it, but believe me, I don't have far to see it, within my Family. But I have choices.
