The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
I have been feeling really down all week. Then I went to my sons dance class. He is four and loves to dance. There big show was last saturday today was there last class for the year. There was a little girl there her father used to take her to every class. Today she came with her mom. After the class was over I was talking to her and my son. I asked her where is dad today. She had no answer. Her mom came over and I asked where dad? She started crying and said he died saturday night in his sleep. On sunday they tried to wake him up but he was gone. My heart just fell. Here I am mad at some doctor who lied and a jury that didn't find for my side. It just hit me. What is wrong with you. You have great kids and a husband who is alive sober and wonderful. Yes I my not have all the money in the world and yes we do live paycheck to paycheck but were alive to see our kids grow up. It was the slap in the face I needed to get over it. So tonight I'm home from work. I'm going to kiss my kids good night,give my husband a hug and Thank god for letting me stay on this earth then go to sleep.
I have been a major pain in the a** for the past couple of weeks, a wreck because my A dumped me.
Then I got to hear about an old friend and her life. She married the one true love of her life. They had a daughter together, just a few months old. He repeatedly cheated on her, drank heavily, quit jobs and decieved her in every way. He even came to my house one day, drunk, and I sent him away after he told me he would like to "see my kitty cat". I told her about it immediately, she took his side and said she felt like I knew he would make a great dad to my daughter and I was making it up to try to steal him away from her...our friendship was done. One day, while she was at work (bailiff at the local police department) he called her and told her he was going to kill himself...dont even try to stop him...she had recently discovered him to be having yet another affair with a real piece of trash he worked with. The police and sherrif departments responded, he had left their home, he was found later. A gunshot wound to his heart, holding his daughters teddy bear and a note for her in his hand...the weird thing is his leather jacket was zipped up, it had been zipped up AFTER the shot. It is thought that his mistress found him first and zipped his coat. He had done many bizarre things before he left to shoot himself...he wrote "I LOVE YOU" on the mirror in the bathroom and when the mirror steamed up you could read it...it pissed me off that he did that to her, really did. The detective who investigated fell in love with my friend. They married a couple of years later. He is a wonderful devoted husband and an excellent father to her daughter, the daughter he adopted when she was orphaned by his sister, and the 2 children they had together. He had a seizure at work. It was found that he had a vicious type of brain cancer that progresses rapidly and is always lethal. He had brain surgery. The same day her mother went to the local ER, was given a lethal dose of morphine and died just a few minutes later. Her deceased husbands brother was diagnosed within just a few days with the EXACT same brain cancer as her husband. Her husband now only has a few weeks maybe a month to live. She will be a widow with 4 children, a mortgage, 2 car payments and will lose the man who has loved and supported her for the last several years.
My life is FABULOUS...My problems are PETTY...I can and should be extremely thankful for today and every day that comes, no matter the small or large disappointments.
