The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
It's been a long time since I posted, December I think.
It's been a rough year. My husband of 38 years just passed away 3 weeks ago. I could see it coming because he was so short of breath. He smoked 2-3 packs a day, more when he drank. He was also an "A". A quiet drinker but none the less a drinker and a lot of bad circumstances happened due to his drinking, but I loved him just the same, maybe it was memories I lived on I don't know but I miss him so much. I met him when I was 14 and he was 17. He turned 60 January pass. All our dreams of retirement are gone. I have to go on alone.
At the time I was posting my doctor said my cancer levels were up. Well, they found it. It's on my kidney. I'm waiting now for surgery to have my kidney removed. Another thing I have to face alone. I have my children but it's still not the same as your mate. So I'm greiving for my husband one minute and scared to death for myself the next. I feel so weak and sick all the time I'm sure it's somewhere else also. The only reason they found it on the kidney was I have a kidney disease and I had a MRI done and they found one cysts was cancer.
Any of you who's been on the board for a long time may remember I was having a lot of problems with my daughter. I finaly said to hell with it I can't do anymore than I've done. She is coming around, only seems to drink once in a while if she goes out with friends. As for drugs I'm not sure but she's 31 and there's not much I can do. Hopefully she'll come around and get over the damage her EX did to her. For some reason she avoids work, I think she just wants someone to look after her but she'll have to do something because if everything goes okay with me I'll be leaving this town and going back to my home where my husband and I both grew up. I still have family there so I really feel that is where I'll be more content. I feel bad leaving her behind but this working town will drain me of any money I had saved because it's so expensive here. I just have to move on. I know when her time comes to move on she would go and not stay behind for me so I have to be selfish and do what I feel is best for me.
I'm glad you've returned to us. My sympathies for the loss of your husband. What a terribly trying time for you it must be. Keep in mind we are all here for you and feel free to lean on MIP through this time as needed. My thoughts and prayers are with you.
Christy
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If we think that miracles are normal, we will expect them. And expecting a miracle is the surest way to get one.
Welcome back. Cherish the good memories you had with your husband and grieve for him as long as you need to. You know you have given so much to others along the way that it is now time for you to concentrate on your own health. The stress you have had could have contributed to your ill health. I pray to HP that you will be given the strength again to get through this tough time. If anyone needs a break you do. I am so glad to hear that you are going home if that is where your heart is. I hope you are not in pain and I will be thinking of you. ((())) Luv Leo xxx
I am so glad you have returned Sandy. Welcome! Sad to hear of the passing of your husband. I know how that going on alone is, as I did it for many years before remarrying. But with strength and courage, you'll make it. As to your health situation, again strength and courage will carry you a long way, and the prayers of those who care about you will carry you all the way through. You've certainly got my prayers and positive energy directed right at you! Your attitude aboout your daughter is the right one. You can't do anything; her HP will guide her.
With caring and concern, Diva
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"Speak your truth quietly and clearly..." Desiderata
