The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
When you registered on the Miracles In Progress message board it automatically added your email address to a Broadcast/Mailing List. This list of emails is not shared with anyone, for any reason, outside of MIP, and it's only utilization by MIP is to provide all registered members with specific group related and/or Miracles In Progress related information. Nothing more than possibly two to three emails per month max.
As some of you know my girlfriend and future wife, Rose is a member of Al-Anon, but relatively new to the online recovery community. She was given access to the mailing list for the purpose of notifying MIP members of the forthcoming Miracles In Progress Cook Book, full of recipes (365) submitted by MIP members, and daily recovery based reading material, that she is in the process of getting published, and to also communicate with the Family Teens group, which she sponsors, monitors and chairs meeting for online.
Being new to the online community in general, she had no idea that the message she sent out regarding Microsoft tracking emails with a beta program offering a monetary reward was a hoax, and I can assure you it is just that, a hoax that has been around since the mid 1990's. She got it and was so exicted about it, thinking it was a valid opportunity wanted to share it with others.
Again, being somewhat new to the online recovery community she didn't realize that sending it out, qualified as spam, junk email, etc. or that it would in any way be interpeted to violate the 12 Traditions.
When I got home tonight she was in absolute tears. Sure the whole world of cyberspace recovery was PO'd at her, convinced that the majority of you instantinously hated her for having sent it out.
Folks it was a mistake. Simply a mistake. She didn't realize that she had been suckered into a hoax, that she was setting anyone else up to be suckered into believing it, and it is my fault that she didn't understand that nothing but group and/or MIP forum information is to be sent out to those registered members on our broadcast/mailing list.
If you want to opt out of our mailings as a result of this incident, you can do so, by going to the message board you registered on, and deleting your account. It is my greatest hope that you will understand this error, and remain a registered, and more importantly active member of Miracles In Progress.
Rose truly meant no harm, didn't understand how it turned into such a terrible thing, and did not realize how angry and hurtful some of your responses would be to recieving such an email.
She provides Miracles In Progress, and several of the groups with a variety of service work in the background that many of you don't know about, or ever hear about, and has been for approximately a year now.
In that year she has made one mistake and some of you leashed out at her so cruelly, so coldly that it stung the very core of her being.
It was a mistake that won't happen again.
Our deepest apology, John and Rose
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" And what did we gain? A new life, with purpose, meaning and constant progress, and all the contentment and fulfillment that comes from such growth."
Hope you'll just let this go and not spend anymore time thinking about it. From what I just read you sound like you have enough stuff to think about!! And by the way, thank you for what you do here
As Pogo said, "We have met the enemy and they is us."
Fun with computers. Once the mail goes it can't be taken back. Ever done that before? I have. I'm much relieved that you have given us a complete explanation than for it to be a mystery. Gives me confidence about what happened and the likelihood it won't happen again.
We signed on with some expectations of privacy. Anonymity is the spiritual foundation of all our traditions, ever reminding us to place principles above personalities. But basic civility is necessary for us to work positively together, and should be expected from everyone here.
I regret some us of were rude and cruel toward Rose and toward others. It's painful when you see how in spite of everything you continue in your neurosis. We should refrain from acting out on our fears because we already know the chain reaction of misery that it sets off. We should apply the remedial action of taking refuge in the examples of our sponsors and other alanon members, in the doctrine of the steps, and in the wisdom and compassion of the community. And we should lay down our mistaken behavior with the resolve not to repeat it.
Please forgive us, Rose.
Grant us the serenity to accept the things we cannot change, The courage to change the things we can, And the wisdom to know the difference.
Thanks for explaining, I feel alot better knowing the email came from one of us rather than our emails got put on some other list! I remember when i first was online, Geez, must be almost 15 years ago now EEK ... I was getting those emails, send this to 10 people or else the world will crash on your head emails, I didn't have 10 friends with email so I plucked names out of my head and just sent them out. Got a few angry replies and learned my lesson LOL. Don't worry about it Rose, one more piece of spam to delete does not ruin my day or my faith in MIP's integerity
Your apology is most definitely accepted here. Having been concerned about the email situation, I posted my concern. Another lesson learned here for me is that it is very difficult for someone to know the emotion behind one's words without seeing the face, hearing the voice. I was concerned and not at all angry. A mistake was make, I really just wanted to get to the root of it and know that it was all set. I was also concerned that in some way not only the email itself was a hoax, but that someone outside MIP had accessed the email list and was using it. Again, trying to type out exactly what my intention was, as well as the emotion, concern, that went with it was difficult.
I am sorry that my post/reply may have been hurtful, it was in no way meant to be. I was concerned and looking for clarification, not blaming. The questions that I posed regarding the Traditions were REALLY questions, I did not know the answers, I wanted clarification not to subtly lay blame. I am learning and was just trying to figure it out.
Thank you for your post and your continued service to this site, it is an invaluable tool for many in Al-Anon.
The service work you do far outweighs one silly mistake. I for one can think of other things to focus on, other than holding a grudge. It's nice to be excited about something. With all the chaos in our lives, it's nice to dream. No harm no foul.
Love and blessings to you both.
Live strong,
Karilynn
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It's your life. Take no prisoners. You will have it your way.
Thanks for the explanation John. I hope that my response sounded neither cold nor cruel. I was really stunned, and was concerned that someone outside had gained knowledge of our email addresses. It is comforting to know that did not happen. Please consider the matter closed. Thank you for the work that you do. The good it does far outweighs this small "mistake."
Best wishes, Diva
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"Speak your truth quietly and clearly..." Desiderata
I just ** Love YOU ** to pieces. I know you did not intend any harm to anyone in any way. WE ALL, as Human make mistakes. I forgive you. Today is a new day, a beautiful day. So grateful to be here, to be in life and to be able to listen and to share with others this wonderful Alanon Program with others. I'm so grateful for everything You do(((((Rose))))) (behind the scenes too) to make everything work so smoothly ... Your service work is soooo appreciated. I know you to be a dear sweet loving spirit. What is important to me, for all of us, is moving forward and focusing on my own personal recovery.
Thank you for your email this morning - I am ok with my end, and fail to understand the Net-iquette surrounding this incident. Apology accepted. We are all still works in progress, miracles in progress, and are still in various stages of recovery and acceptance of others and ourselves...I feel badly that some chose to lash out at you and Rose, but they are probably the people most in need of the very valuable and lifesaving service you both give to us all. Perhaps it was a "remember when" moment for them, who knows? and they needed to unload some self righteous stuff on someone. This too shall pass. You've gone on record, stated your most heartfelt, deepest apologies, and let go of the reactions on the other end. That's their stuff.
Please dont give up your service work to us all. We need you both.
Rose, don't beat yourself up my sweet. We are human. Things happen. We love both of you and God bless you for all the work you do and for having my lifeline alanon chat room which you created for us.
I am an alanonaholic and need the 'fix' of the chat room on an almost daily basis. I often come here in a low and in minutes feel better and am often laughing...and laughter is something I had forgotten about from years of abuse and aggression before I had alanon.
On a practical note, I have suggested in the past that members create email addresses specially for these rooms. I have done so when I very first came here a few years ago. They are free from hotmail/yahoo/gmail etc. Am sure that if anyone wants to change their email addie and re register with MIP they can do so?
It still astounds me that people in recovery can be so judgemental and critical "whether intended or not." I know this is not about me, but when we come here broken, afraid and judging ourselves so scathingly, we quickly learn from most to knock that $hit off.
That's the greatest thing about emails. We all have the delete button. Use it at your own discretion.
"To err is human, to forgive is divine."
"Let there be peace on earth and let it begin with me."
yours in recovery and love,
Maria
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If I am not for me, who will be? If I am only for myself, then who am I? If not now, when?
WOW! What a gentle, kind, and loving spirit that came across in your (John's) post. No wonder MIP is so successful. Thanks for your service work. May you and Rose continue to be blessed mightily.
I would not even consider deleting my account. This place has been my life line and I could not even begin to thank you for all I have gotten from being here, or all that you do.
We are all human and all make mistakes. On the grand scale this one doesn't even qualify as a blip. Please don't give it another thought.
-K
Beautiful Day. 
