The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
I have a question, which I suspect I know the answer to, but am going to ask nonetheless.
Typically, I am not an emotional person (well, I suppose that's not entirely true, I do angry pretty well...). I guess what I mean is that I don't cry. Over the last few weeks, I have gotten myself an Al-Anon sponsor and have begun working the steps a bit. I've found myself feeling really kind of funny, teary at times - but I don't know why - and often just very emotional. I haven't really broken down and cried per se, just kind of gotten wet behind the eyelids a bit.
Now, I have done a lot of step work in the past, being also a member of AA, but this is new to me. Is this a common occurrance for many here?
I have never been a person to show emotion in front of people. If I cry its in private. For so long I was numb and ambivalent to my feelings. I pushed a great deal of emotion down. When I felt a serious change in my attitude and began accepting my flaws and surrendered the tears came flowing. I remember being at a woman's seminar and there was a beautiful singer who was blind and playing piano. She had such a childlike presense in her lyrics and I really identified with her, the tears just flowed from my eyes. They were not tears of hurt like I normally have just tears of being tired and numb and finally feeling something other than anger and devastation. Someone here called it "overflow". The mind and body opening itself up to experience new emotions and give myself over to it. Its really healthy and I felt that the tears I cried were tears needed to start the healing. So go on cry if you have to cry.
Blessings,
Twinmom~
__________________
"The people who don't mind matter and the people who mind, don't matter". (Dr. Seuss)
I cannot speak for any one else but I have no problems crying. I cry over everything.....movies, books, happy & sad experiences. I find it feels good to let it out sometimes.....like I can finally breathe again.
Sometimes I try to stay strong & hold back the tears for my kids sake or family members....like if the kids don't realize there is something to be upset about and I pretend that everything is fine, maybe I can save them some heartache.
Sometimes I build up a wall around my heart on certain subjects to prevent myself from crying....letting my anger take control b/c when I am mad about a situation, I tend to work harder to solve it. But if I am crying about it, I tend to sulk forever in my own despair and accomplish nothing.
These are just my ways of expressing my heart. Everyone is different. And I think that as we grow older and live through more experiences and learn from those experiences, we can sometimes change the way we are effected and how we express our feelings. I can not tell you why you are starting to get teary eyed over certain situations but maybe it is just part of your healing process.
Your question made me realise that when I was younger I could cry at the thought of losing anyone I loved. Sad commercials, movies, books and so on. As i grew into my teenage years I had already started to control my reactions to these things, my Dad was not as softhearted at the time (he is now LOL much worse than I ever was), I can remember him once laughing at my Mom, brother and I crying our eyes out over the movie "The Champ". By the time I was involved with my A, I had great practice at hiding hurt, from him and more so from myself. It's taken me 13 years to accept these feelings. And most definitely I have tines that my emotions seem to shift of thier own accord. I've come to think of it as my own way of releasing tears that may be from many years ago or now, either way I am glad they are leaving it always feels like a weight has been lifted from me afterwards.Thank you for sharing this.
