The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
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It has been a ride! I'm sure it isn't over, but I have been trying hard. My AH went back to drinking last week. He has been doing crack, but as he pointed out I get more upset about the alcohol than the drug. I don't think so, it's just that with the alcohol I can definitely know when he has been drinking because I smell it. I can't always tell about the drug because if he uses it early enough then the signs have pretty much worn off by the time I get home. Last week I tried to stay very busy. In fact I was hardly at home at all in the evenings--therefore wasn't cooking or doing the laundry. Then he "disappeared" for 5-6 hours at a time this weekend. When he came back I could tell he had been drinking--I told him if you are going to drink that's fine it's your choice, but if you ever get drunk you know you can't come home until all the kids are in bed-I asked him to make sure he stayed out until after 9:00. He said what am I supposed to do? I said well if you have to leave your "friends'" houses then you can sit in the opening in a field that is right down the road from us until 9:00. He said so I'm supposed to share the spot with ______ (one of our drunks around town, uses the spot). I said I guess so. He said "glad to know what you think of me". He was gone for a long time yesterday, I was scared he was going to challenge me on the don't come home drunk thing. But he wasn't drunk and last night he said he was going to start back to meetings. So we will see! At least he's thinking about trying again.
One step at a time right ??? It is so hard loving someone with this disease.. boundries are good for everyone especially US.. The choice that he drink or not is his to make not ours, that was really hard for me.. You just want to shake them and say you have a family, children who love you why are you behaving like this ?? Then I realize that cant control it.. Before alanon i didnt understand..
Keep taking one thing at a time, living one day at a time.
Good for you for setting some kind of boundary. Especially for your kids. Sounds like you are busy but stop for awhile and do something nice for yourself.
