The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Today's reading shows an example of Al-Anon's slogan Live and Let Live in action. As I often do when posting a daily, I searched the index for the associated Al-Anon topic. I was surprised by how many topics I felt fit well for this page. The reading mentions a desire for others to fulfill our needs rather than being self sufficient. It gives an example of an imbalanced relationship, a person whose attitudes and behaviors imply they may be looking for a pet rather than a human being to meet their needs. No one person can be all things to me, the reading states.
We are asked in the reading to examine our own expectations of others and ask ourselves if those expectations are reasonable.
A few self inventory questions follow:
Do I respect other people's individuality - or only the parts that suit my fancy?
Do I appreciate what I do receive?
The reading goes on to implore the reader to do the inside job. With self focus the Al-Anon member can seek answers as to what may need changing within themself.
I can see how this directly addresses Live of our slogan Live and Let Live. With this program work and change from an outward self seeking focus to inward introspection, I can Let Go and Let God. Through spiritual awakening, it becomes a bit easier for me to let others Live.
The reading speaks about respecting the individuality of others and not trying to fashion others to my own image. I can see that Al-Anon topics such as control, dependency, higher power, boundaries, gratitude associate well with this daily reading. I know that my ego can be over active at times. When I edge God out, I assume myself the hp of another person and will try to impose my will to force a particular outcome. At such times, I need to get back to my side of the street. I'm grateful to our program and a loving hp for awareness, for awakenings concerning unhealthy behaviors.
Today's Quote:
The beginning of love is to let those we love be perfectly themselves and not twist them to fit our own image. One Day at a Time
Recently, I've noticed some major changes in a few people close to me and have wanted to jump in, help, rescue. I love each of them and am sorry to see them in pain. With that said, if I am to be honest, I have also felt fearful of what those changes in them mean for me. These are people who have been there for me offering healthy support and I have grown to depend on that support. Of course my hp is always there for me but sometimes human to human contact also helps me feel less alone with feelings. This has also caused me to examine my own resilience in crisis. I can see that I've been dependent on others to be strong for me, make it better and even parent me at times. I accept that it's fine to have these vulnerabilities. I'm not an emotionless rock. But, now simultaneously a number of those closest to me are overwhelmed by life on life's terms. I am turning to my higher power for guidance as to how I can be supportive of each of them without getting between them and their higher power. More Will Be Revealed
Times are hard no doubt for many of us but I am continuing to lean on Al-Anon recovery and put my trust in a loving God. Thy will not my will be done. I hope everyone enjoys a bit of serenity today.
-- Edited by tiredtonite on Thursday 31st of August 2023 07:33:03 AM
__________________
Surround yourself with people and elements that support your destiny, not just your history.
Thank you TT for your service, share, and good wishes. I kind of see live and let live, and let go and let God, as twin slogans. When I think of one I think of the other. If I write one to a program friend, I usually write both. I'm getting better as time goes on, at trying not to force solutions. My spouse recently started AA. In my opinion, a sponsor is needed in this situation. I am powerless over another's recovery or way to accomplish it. I have to mind my own business. I don't always want to, but I know it's the right thing to do. Live and let live, and let go and let God.
"Live and Let Live Slogan" is a reminder to us that:
1) I don't have to agree with others or their opinions, behaviors, actions; and, that's ok. Everyone is entitled to their own opinions, and I don't have to persuade someone that my ideas are right and theirs are wrong. I'm not responsible for other people choices. I can "Let Go and Let God.
2) Others behavior isn't my responsibility, but my own thoughts, behavior and feelings are. If others behaviors are impacting me, I am responsible to set healthy boundaries and to do something different that pays attention to my own needs. Have I tolerated unhealthy behavior that robs my serenity? What can I do to maintain my serenity that is within my power to control. I find what i want to say to others is often what I need to know within myself. If I know it, I can act on my own behalf and then choose healthy actions that support recovery and that respect myself and my own needs.
3) What others think of me is really none of my business. It's ok that some people like me and others don't, as well as my thoughts and opinions.
4) As I learn self care and that I don't have to constantly people please, or be co-dependent, expecting others to fulfill my needs. I can allow others to "Live and Let Live" and to grow in a way that is right for them.
5) If others in my life show repeated unhealthy patterns of behavior, I can choose to distance myself from them. The Jan 9 reading in HFT shows us, doing something once, anyone will do that, doing something twice, could be coincidence, but if the behavior is repeated 3 times, it now shows us this person has a pattern. I don't have to tolerate people who choose to disrespect me, and use me or treat me unkindly. I have to choose healthy boundaries to protect myself. I mainly do this by making different choices myself.
6) I can care about someone and put distance between myself and them. I get to choose whom I interact with and when. I can disengage when others behavior is impacting me negatively.
-- Edited by Allthingsnew on Tuesday 9th of January 2024 10:14:12 PM
-- Edited by Allthingsnew on Tuesday 9th of January 2024 10:15:59 PM
