thank you all for your comments and prayers. i am home for the night and back to dad's to stay tomarrow. i was really missing my kids today and they love mother's day and all the things they make themselves. love is incredible. as in dealing with the a and having to continuously remind myself of the 3 c's i am doing the same with my dad's dying. he is so ready and willing to go. and i keep thinking if we don't do this or that, or wake him, or talk loud then he can pass. if i hold his hand and pray really really hard then god will take him now and end his suffering and ours. but i am not that powerful. i know this only because of this program. just like with the a nothing i do or say will change the situation into what i want it to be or what i think would be best. yet again i am at step one. i feel very lucky that i even know step one. i think we are all truly blessed to have this program. i remember what it was like without it and i never have to go back to that again. thank you all again for your love and support. someone in a meeting said to me "when you're going thru hell...keep going!" y'all are keeping me going!