The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
I am spending the weekend doing errands with my AH who I am separated from. It never goes well. I get in my love addict/dysfunction/disease right away. My AH threatens divorce and says he is ready to start dating etc. He says when am I going to let go? When I am ready I say. With or without a divorce. I hate what I do and say but I thought that this is the gift that I give myself. The gift to be imperfect and dysfunctional. But also the gift to try and go to meetings and read my books. And the gift to let my AH try it his way. I am not hopeful about our relationship. I have alot to lose right now. I ask for help from my HP. But the universe is the way it is suppose to be today nd I pray for strength to find my HP's will for me. I will probably be alone on Mother's Day. My three sons are a gift and letting them be free is a gift I can give them.
Hello, nmike, I love this post of yours. One of the great gifts of Alanon and working the Steps I have found, too, is the gift to be imperfect. Good for you. It seems to be the hardest to forgive ourselves. Blessings, mebjk
Nancy - a lot of mother's are not as understanding with their children as you are, that is a gift and I am sure that they do appreciate that you understand. I know I always appreciated my parents flexibility with me living at a distance at holiday times. It is just a day after all and not the true test of a mother's relationship with her children.
I spend a lot of Holidays alone, I let my young boys go with their Dad if I am not going to my parents, so I just stay home and enjoy the solitude.
Josey
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Julianne - It's best to move on. You cannot look back in anger in life. It's too short
