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Thank you all for the support you have all given me during this hard time. For those of you that know me and my situation, here is the latest update.
Bryon went in Monday for his regular scheduled overnight chemo treatment. They were preparing his discharge Tue when he spiked a fever. Things just kept getting worse. It has been coming out of both ends, really bad. They keep doing tests and so far, they still don't know what is wrong w/him. What really scared me, yesterday they did a CT on him. When they were putting him under, we had lots of problems. He started puking in the gas mask, had a spasm which closed his airway and also apperated the **** into his lungs. When he did finally come around (after shoving a tube down the throat), he was able to get air a bit better. They hooked the oxygen right into the tube. Pretty much freeked me out! I really thought I was going to loose him. He was in recovery for over an hour trying to get him to breathe on his own again. That was not fun either. I have never seen them have so much trouble putting him out before. Well, he is still in the hospital, and I am home. I am not doing good, so I had to have my husband come relieve me last night. I am home ill, and he will stay w/Bryon until...well, we don't know.
This whole ordeal is really teaching me to BREATHE, call someone when I'm hurting, write about it, talk, and taking me back to step one two and three regularly. My life is not just unmanageable, it is a mess! My God will take care of me! He will bring me sanity. And I have to turn my life over to HIM and not keep trying to take it back. I know God has a plan, I need to just sit on my hands and listen for the signs!
I'm so sorry to hear all you are going through with your son. I know it is hard, but like you said....keep trusting God. I have been praying for you and Byron and will continue to do so. May God surround you with His love and encouragement. And I pray God will be with your son in a very special way. Keep looking to God for your strength.......
Bless our lil Bryon and you and your hubby. What an awful thing to experience. As a mother of three boys myself, who are grown, my heart goes out to you. I can't even imagine what you are dealing with.
Know that we are all praying ~keep us posted.
love Maria
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If I am not for me, who will be? If I am only for myself, then who am I? If not now, when?
"What our lives teach us is that despair is an emotion that comes and goes, asking painful questions, calling us to go deeper to find a meaning we can live with -- a meaning that frees us from unnecessary care and allows us to love unconditionally the children that have been given to us."
- Mirian Greenspan, Healing Through The Dark Emotions
May your family enjoy happiness and the root of happiness.
May your family be free from suffering and the root of suffering.
May your family never be separated from the great happiness devoid of suffering.
May your family dwell in the great equanimity, free from passion, aggression and prejudice.
The universe holds Bryon. You don't need to do it all yourself.
Sandy,my heart goes out to you.I am not a mom but I know the pain of watching a loved one suffer and feeling so helpless.It's the most difficult place to be.
Chemotherapy,to me, almost kills us before it helps.It's an awful but sometimes necessary treatment.
I like what kent said about the universe holding Bryon,but I also would add that God is holding Bryon.God is there with him,you can count on that.And Bryon is in the hospital where he can get the best care we humans can give.
Get your rest and take care of yourself.Running yourself down to a frazzle will not help him,leave that to God.I am adding my prayers for Bryon and you and your family to the others here. Love and hugs. d
I will ask HP for your Mother's Day gift to be easing the pain and suffering your son has to go through and for you to have the strength to be strong. ((())) Luv Leo xxx .
