The member says if you don't want to be a doormat, you have to get up off the floor.  The member accepted a lot of unacceptable behavior, but took it and came back for more.  The member felt like a victim but was actually a volunteer.  Now they see that they have choices, they are not helpless, and feeling like a victim can be a red flag:  warning, I am participating in something that is not in my best interest.  Stop blaming others and look to my own involvement.  That's how you can change.

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I was thrilled to come across this reading for 12/26.  Early in program I read a post about "resigning from the doormat club," but I never knew where it came from.  The phrase just stuck in my head because that's how I used to be:  poor me, people are hurting me.  Now I know how to get off the track when I see the train coming!  Alanon has taught me so many important life skills that I rarely feel like a victim anymore.  When the sledgehammer is coming down, I try to get out of the way.  Grateful member always.