The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Todays reading is a look at how, in spite of what many of us thought would happen by coming to alanon (our qualifier would no longer drink), the real change that takes place is within us. The writer describes coming to alanon when her alcoholic husband left her to raise their son alone. She learned about alcoholism as a disease with certain behaviors associated with it. She learned that her husbands leaving had nothing to do with anything she had done or failed to do. She realized over time that the situation that brought her to alanon did not change: her former husband still drank and still had no relationship with his son, in fact the son as a young adult began drinking as well. The change that took place was within the writer- she learned that there is experience, strength and hope in the program literature, and she no longer denies or enables her son's drinking. She learned how to have a loving relationship regardless of where her son is with drinking or where she is with her program.
It took me a long while, and many conversations with my sponsor, to understand that I came to alanon to work on myself. In the beginning I ABSOLUTELY imagined that my presence in alanon would fix up all of the alcoholics in my life! I could not see how off the mark that was. What I began to see after some time was that the consistency of the program, the self refection and inventory, the work toward living in the present and on my own side of the street, all contributed to a healthier life for me. Instead of looking at others with a discerning (and judgmental) eye, I looked inward to work on what was there.
The quotation from From Survival to Recovery (pp. 196-197) summarizes beautifully: "Without Al-Anon, I might never have tapped into that grace and the ability to love myself and other people exactly where we are at this minute in time."
Just another reminder that I needed today.
Grateful to all members of MIP
&
__________________
"The wolf that thrives, is the one you feed." - Cherokee legend
"Hello, sun in my face. Hello you who made the morning and spread it over the fields... Watch, now, how I start the day in happiness, in kindness." Mary Oliver