The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Today's C2C speaks of the benefits to both speaker and listener when sharing, honestly and fearlessly, as per the 5th step. Sharing our experiences and disclosing our poor decisions and motivations to the right person or people in the right setting achieves so much more than simply lightening the burdens we carry but also allows us to gain new perspectives on our own actions; even simply hearing ourselves aloud can profoundly change our perception of ourselves and the way we view our story. So too, listening is not only reciprocal but can give us valuable insights into our own experiences and help us realise that we are not so unique or terrible as we think we are. I think it's also important to emphasise sharing with the right people in a safe environment; al-anon creates opportunities to do this and for many of us, it frees us from the compulsion to disclose our (often overwhelmingly negative) perceptions of ourselves to people who don't necessarily hear us with our best interests at heart. I know that pre-al-anon I would attempt to disclose my own perceived failings and defects to the people I was desperately trying to "help" or "love" by creating some kind of idealised sharing relationship and that almost always backfired; telling someone struggling with addiction or extreme anger and resentment my perceived failings was no different to handing them a shovel to whack me on the head with! Conversely, I used to desperately hide the truth from those that I admired or who seemed to "have it together" for fear of judgement. Finding a safe place to explore my story and self-perception and learning to share and listen with mutual growth in mind was life changing and I thank every one of you for having been a part of that journey.
So important to remember that not everyone needs, wants , or most importantly deserves to know my story. I am very selective with whom I share personal matters with and I am extra careful to remember to share my story, not my qualifiers. That is for her to do with whom she chooses.
My experience has been that people whom have been in the rooms or other like minded recovery programs can understand like others simply cannot.