Gaslighting - Al-Anon Family Group

SunnyFrog · Senior Member

Gaslighting

DM2021 · ~*Service Worker*~

{{SF}}

Dealing with gaslighting requires me to recognize in the course of a conversation

that I need to disengage and walk away, saying that I am not interested in this

discussion. When you walk away you are sending a clear signal that the

gaslighter is not playing fair and you are not going to take it. Do not engage

when you are called names, that method of trying to suck you back into the

chaos is typical. Just smile and walk away knowing that you are better than

this!!!

Youknowme · Senior Member

It doesn't always work; gaslighting is a big trigger for me too but stating my truth calmly and refusing to engage with it feels pretty good. Unfortunately, I'm just as likely to get mad and yell "stop gaslighting me!" lol. It's a work in progress.

SunnyFrog · Senior Member

Thanks guys.

I try so hard to not react,and I am getting pretty good at it. But the gaslighting omg it irritates me so much and it's hard to walk away. Many times I can when it's just petty little stuff that's not worth it but when it's major stuff I end up blowing up.

Even if it's printed in black and white,even if it's recorded,even if there's witnesses.....being told it's not real or true and I am just lying or crazy = GRRR.

DM2021 · ~*Service Worker*~

{{SF}} you are not alone!!

Lyne · ~*Service Worker*~

Thanks to all for ESH on this very important topic, and it's one I have to deal with much of the time. First, this is one area that takes practice, practice, and more practice, to be able to keep myself in check and balanced when being set on fire! A very wise person taught me: pause, think, and pray. Bless them, change me. I have also said, I will think about this. Once I engage I'm done for, so I have to detach and walk away. BTW, I'm accused then of "walking away and not talking," but if I'm going to lose my mind, there's no point. Save my energy for something really important. Ask, how important is this??? It's a truly great slogan, really. QTIP: A gem Betty bestowed upon me: quit taking it personally. And to sum it all up, Progress, not perfection, is the best I can do.

Have a great Friday MIP. :)

SunnyFrog · Senior Member

Thanks for the additional replies since I was here.

Yeah, I just gotta turn walking away into a habit,it's what I do anyway after blowing up. I need to just save myself the headache and hassle and do it right away. That always feels much better anyway.

The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.