The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
In today's reading, the author reflects on anger. They share that usually, they are a gentle, easy-going person, but when they get angry, they unleash a torrent of angry profanity. What made them stop and think about their behavior was their little dog getting his paws tangled in an extension cord and breaking a vase. The dog's look of hurt and bewilderment at the sudden, violent change in the author made the author wonder, if a little animal who didn't understand the words could have such a reaction to the change in the author, what were those outbursts doing to the people in the author's life who understood the words being said?
Today's Reminder: I am human and I get angry, but I don't have to act out my anger in destructive ways. I do not have the right to take it out on others. Whether my usual response is to scream, sulk in cold silence, or lash out with cruel words, today I can look at what I do when I get mad. Maybe next time I will try something new.
Today's Quote: "We can pave the way for calm, reasonable communication only if we first find healthy outlets for our own negative feelings." The Dilemma of the Alcoholic Marriage
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I'm the icy silence angry person. I know I am making this choice of reaction because it seems less harmful than actually saying the words that are in my head. Most of the time, I try to talk things out with people when I can talk in a calm and reasonable way, while being prepared to de-escalate the situation. With my AW, however, sometimes that communication does not work, and icy silence is the best I can do. It's a work in progress, and I've noticed with more time in the program, I am more able to lean on the communication instead of the silence.
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Skorpi
If you are depressed, you are living in the past. If you are anxious, you are living in the future. If you are at peace, you are living in the present. - Lao Tzu
Thanks Skorpi. I really feel this one. The words and expressions that come out at my pets or when I am alone in my car really disturb me sometimes; I was making a joke just this evening about how my carpal tunnel is probably caused by the frequency with which I secretly flip off my family members as they are walking away. I'm laughing about it but healthy outlets for anger do seem like something I am lacking at times. Food for thought.
Thanks SKorpi for your service and all above ESH. I've seen so many inappropriate expressions of anger I know exactly how I don't want to act. I used to sulk and criticize myself if others were angry at me. I never used to express my anger. These days, the healthier me can often just say what I'm feeling without being critical. I'm getting better at pausing, thinking, praying, and waiting to respond. I use all my tools very often to accomplish this! Bless them, change me.
