Good morning everyone-

Todays reading is about learning to trust our own judgment in making decisions, and allowing others to trust us as well. The writer describes having grown up in a home where the parents (in an overly controlling way) told the writer what to do.  The response was two extremes: either complete compliance or rebellious refusal. The writer felt controlled and realized that much of the time his/her behavior was in reaction to the demands of the parents.  In Al-Anon, more responsibility was given to the writer, who was trusted to make decisions and speak as a member of the group.  Although not everyone agreed with the writer, he/she did feel supported and trusted. Feeling the support and trust of others helped the writer learn to trust his/her own judgment and decisions as well.

This area is a definite work in progress for me.  I can perseverate about decisions, regardless of their magnitude: either I walk into a store and get exactly what I need or Im stuck in mental argument with myself over it; if it is a big sticker item like a new appliance or piece of furniture the deliberations can be even worse. I think some of this is wanting  to control,   and I can easily get stuck in the what ifs regarding any decision.  This kind of thing can get me when it comes to joining a gathering for work (even pre Covid), or deciding on taking a trip, or almost anything that requires me to be the one to make a choice! While considering this today I am realizing that trusting my own instincts, understanding if a decision doesnt go exactly as planned, accepting that I may make mistakes are all part of becoming stronger in decisions big and small.

The quotation from The Concepts-Al-Anons Best Kept Secret?(p.8) reminds us: Being allowed to make appropriate decisions, to act freely without being hassled or second guessed, gives dignity to the person who is doing the job.

I hope everyone enjoys a peaceful Sunday:)

Mary