The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
My life is a hot mess. I married a man that never accepted my youngest daughter and although he was aware we are a package deal, since we both had 2 kids from a previous marriage coming together as a family. I have allowed him to scapegoat my youngest daughter and at this point I can't leave the house without him starting a fight with her and she is rebelling and I can not blame her. I have so much work to do! Yes I am leaving him after letting this progress over the last 6 years of living together and having my blinders fully ripped off. Yes I now see all the gas lighting and crazy making I allowed from him. Yes, I now see my picker is still broken and I did it again even though he isn't an active drinker all the other stuff is there! I am overwhelmed when I stop and think about all the damage I allowed myself, but even more so for my 14 year old to have impact her young life. My oldest is thankfully independent of my house and will have her masters next year.
So after the huge blow up on July 3, I bought a house in another State near my brother which will be a nearby trusted support that closes in about 60 days, I got a job it starts in about 5 weeks, I'm getting an RN license in the State I am moving to which can take 6-8 weeks. And our house is up for sale, but no bites as of yet, but it's only been on the market a couple weeks. It's time to put humpty dumpty back together again. I'm however stronger this time around and have the experience of my first divorce to know I can & will do this! I'm however freaking out right now about all these major changes and trying to only take little bites as not to think I can handle all of it at once.
I am excited yet nervous to start all over again, but I know it will be good to have a fresh start with just my daughter and I in a new house without anyone else for right now. The next 4 years of her high school career I will pour into her and make the changes I can for her and I. I am back!!!
-- Edited by Breakingfree on Saturday 23rd of July 2022 05:30:19 AM
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Sending you love and support on your journey always! BreakingFree
Al-Anon/Alateen Family Group Headquarters, Inc. 800-344-2666
" Pain is inevitable, suffering is optional."
"Serenity is when your body and mind are in the same place."
{{{Breakingfree}}} You sound strong and determined! If we try, we find we can do many things we didn't think we could. And fear and anxiety come with major life changes such as yours. For myself, I can beat myself up, or I can say, BETTER LATE THAN NEVER. Easy does it ODAT. :)
Sorry to hear it BF. But look at you recognising it, owning it and doing the next right thing.
Congratulations on beginning the next leg of your journey!
