The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Today's page proposes contemplation of Courtesy as a greater offering than politeness, that involves pleasantries but does not require love.
The former is outlined here as an expression of love, warm concern for someone's 'comfort, peace of mind, and well-being'.
We may have the opportunity to show courtesy to strangers (giving directions), but much more often to those in our lives and homes. These may be, however, the ones toward whom we have room for showing more.
Reminder: Take every opportunity to show courtesy towards those nearest me, not just strangers or acquaintances. Warmth of courtesy can ease feelings of resentment, restore dignity and importance to those in my home by reminding them of our love.
"Courtesy makes a less troublesome game of life. Misunderstandings melt away; it gets rid of the avoidable obstructions." - unattributed ------------------- Wow, need this reminder pasted on my mirror...
So, so much easier for me to be civil, polite, charming in short blasts of infrequent interactions, or in the well defined confines of work pastures. Much, much more challenging for me along the well trodden paths of my domicile; why...
As I reflect on this today, it is not that I lack concern or love for them, but that I want to give it, and them to receive it, in a way that is convenient for me.
Room to improve, indeed...I cannot ensure a loved one never feels pain or unloved, but I need to strive to demonstrate more courtesy, allowing them to be similarly moved...
Grateful for (always needed) reminders
__________________
Paul
"...when we try to control others, we lose the ability to manage our own lives." - Paths to Recovery
Thank you Paul for your service and for all above honest ESH. My biggest challenge is always my A. I'm able to show courtesy and compassion most of the time, but I have the strongest detachment which I carry around. My detachment is with love, but I do feel I have a wall of armor around me for protection. My A's behavior is inconsistent, laden with denial and defensiveness, and because I live half the week apart near my son, helps to save me. I'm not sure if I could do this full time as I used to. My A hates the weekly separation and it gives fuel to the anger. What is that saying about oh what a tangled web we weave? Yep, that's it. :)
Thank you Paul for your service and all the shares. It's a great reminder to pay attention to how I treat my loved ones. I'd like to add that part of what drew me to this board and kept me coming back was the courtesies members extend to each other-showing appreciation for the service/shares, validating/respecting experiences, not embarrassing/belittling one another. I was more open to change when being guided by people who practice good manners. Thank you.
