The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Today's C2C speaks of how when we let go and let God/HP enough times we end up with a catalogue of reminders of times when it worked. Even the hardest of times can become memories of lessons learned as well as a reminder that if we don't try to control outcomes the results are often far better than we could have imagined ourselves. But it takes time to build these experiences, and that's where acting "as if" is needed at first (and at times when our confidence/faith is lacking too).
I'll try to remember this today as I struggle with someone who is really causing me some stress. I'm struggling to remain calm and stop trying to force solutions, but I know detaching and minding myself has worked over and over again in the past. It's funny how even after all of this practice, a willful part of me wants to take over and "fix everything" and then be smug about it lol. Today I am going to remind myself of how many times letting go/ letting HP has worked for me, and see if that helps me act (by not acting) in my own best interests.
Thanks YKM for your service and above ESH. Let go and let God, and live and let live, are two fantastic slogans I use to center myself. And of course there is always step 1, guess what, I'm powerless over others!
The writer stated 'my higher power has never let me down'... An important subtlety that Alanon helps remind me of is the difference between my HP not letting me down, and not getting what I think I want to happen.
Alanon suggests that I often don't know what is best for me, and certainly not for others. Therefore, things will 'work out' regardless of whether I get 'my way'. For me, a humbling realization is that things always 'work out', always. They always have, and they always will, long after I'm sucking oxygen. There is no stopping the inevitable march forward of time and events.
When I remember how insignificant my role truly is in my groups, at work, social circles, world, I see myself as the 'extra' that I am in this play, not the star...makes it a little easier (when I'm working my program ) to step back, let the play go on without obsessively rewriting in my head how it 'should' go, and refocus on the small list I do control.
My HP, others' HP has the rest, my involvement is not really needed. When I am able to frame that as positive and enjoy the freedom, I and those around me win.
Grateful for the reminders
__________________
Paul
"...when we try to control others, we lose the ability to manage our own lives." - Paths to Recovery
) to step back, let the play go on without obsessively rewriting in my head how it 'should' go, and refocus on the small list I do control.