The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
In today's reading, the author reflects on their reactions to life not always being smooth or peaceful. In the past, the author would bottle up their feelings when something was bothering them. It seemed better to be upset themselves than risk upsetting others. The result was that they would become irritable and resentful.
Today, the author realizes that some adversary has value. When they face and express their feelings, things have a chance of improving. Even if things don't improve, the author is able to release some built-up pressure. Even when it is scary, done without as much grace as they would like, or unwelcomed by others, the author finds benefit in expressing themselves.
Today's Reminder: If I compare, I lose. Maybe Ill come out feeling better than somebody this time, but next time Im bound to feel worse. The best way to stop feeling that Im not good enough is to stop comparing altogether.
Today's Quote: Little by little, we come to realize at our meetings that much of our discomfort comes from our attitudes. Understanding Ourselves and Alcoholism
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Like the author, I used to bottle up how I was feeling about things. With Al-Anon, I've learned to express myself when it is safe for me to do so. Like so many others, the primary alcoholic in my life has co-occurring mental health issues, and because of this, expressing myself to myself and a trusted program friend or sponsor is my primary focus. At times, I also express myself to others, but only when I have determined that it is safe for both of us for me to do so. I can do a lot of harm unintentionally, and it isn't about me or what I say or how I say it, it is about the mental health state the alcoholic is in. For me, this means that I need to be more certain of my truth, and I need to pick appropriate times to express my truth. If an appropriate time isn't there, then I need to express myself to another appropriate person.
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Skorpi
If you are depressed, you are living in the past. If you are anxious, you are living in the future. If you are at peace, you are living in the present. - Lao Tzu
Thanks Skorpi for your service and all above ESH. On Sunday, my A asked to discuss our relationship and if or how it can improve. I spoke my truth in a calm respectful way, that without alcohol treatment I don't think anything will change between us. I also shared that I now "accept" this and don't expect things to be different. I doubt any of this sunk in, but I felt so much better.
Thank you Skorpi for your service. I appreciate the emphasis from all about the importance of focusing on one's truth and recognizing what's good for the soul. The last few days I've been pressing an issue with my husband that (in my eyes) has an easy fix. Truth is, I'm impatient because my style is to fix problems immediately! Also, the more I push, the more overwhelmed he becomes. So, I'll kick back, relax and trust HP to coordinate timing that is good for both of us. The lesson for me today is: practice acceptance, patience and compassion. Grateful to HP for this board...I was suppressing my annoyance and sometimes I snap and unintentionally create a crisis. (yikes).
