The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Todays reading is about learning that recovery in alanon is not about the qualifiers in our lives. Instead, the focus is on us. The writer describes enabling her husband, trying to control him, restrict his drinking, ultimately feeling only resentment and disgust toward him. In alanon the writer learned about loving detachment, which was called in her country of origin: letting off in love. The writer began to focus on herself, taking care of herself by working the steps, praying and meditating. She confided in her sponsor, and learned to let her husband live his own life, letting him fall gently, not interfering with any consequences that may have resulted from his active drinking.
I remember confiding in frustration about the active alcoholic in my life and my sponsor gently reminding me that I was attempting to step into the relationship of the alcoholic and his HP. She told me- we are all children of God and you arent in charge of the plan for ; his HP is. Thinking about it in this way was humbling and helped me realize that the only person for me to focus on was myself. I started to see the word recovery as getting something back that I had lost along the way. Learning to keep the focus on myself has been helpful in all kinds of situations. As it can be very easy to get stuck in denial, I have been thinking about the opposite of denial - awareness. I am going to focus that awareness on the one person I am working on: myself.
Thank you Mary for your service.
Ill echo Sunny. This is exactly what I needed today. It always is. I was feeling disjointed about something and needed to shift the focus to myself. Its like exhaling once I remember to bring it back to self; like recalling I have control over the feeling I feel stuck in. Moving forward again.
Much love to all. Have a great week.
Thank you Mary for "I started to see recovery as getting something back that I had lost along the way. " Al-Anon has helped me regain my dignity and self respect. My true character was buried under fear and doubt. I adapted to suit others instead of honouring myself. The last three weeks we've had out of town guests and had many chances to detach/vocalize when my boundaries were pushed and stand firm when I was the oddball (yay). At least they'll be leaving this week....(major grin).
