The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
The writer shares they spent a lot of time yearning for things they weren't getting from the alcoholic. They made a list: courtesy, respect, attention, affection, communication--they had been let down many times. Their sponsor's suggestion was to give what they wanted to receive, and become what they wanted to attract. They learned to take an active role in fulfilling their own needs, and were able to feel better about themself. Others responded to the positive changes.
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One of the very important lessons I have learned in alanon, is to stop depending on others when I can depend on myself. Will I need help to move a large piece of furniture? Of course yes. But how I feel, what I want to accomplish, and what activities to choose--I decide these things now. And what a huge relief. I have become the dependable person I needed.
