The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Monday's reading looks at why newcomers in program seem more eager to know why the alcoholic drinks, than why they allow another's compulsive drinking to affect them so destructively. We need to accept that the alcoholic has an illness, and it's possible the family can help. But primarily we must learn how to conquer our own self-defeating attitudes.
Quote: Let me free myself from the illusion that I can do anything directly to conquer the disease from which the alcoholic suffers. I need not suffer from another's illness, if only I am willing to accept help for myself. This indirectly helps the alcoholic.
The words that mean something to me here are: I need not suffer from another's illness. I am married to and live with an active alcoholic. Much of the time I have good boundaries, I am detached with love, and I can do my life with some peace and joy. But recently I got caught up in the sadness that nothing is going to change. I gave up trying to fix my A quite some time ago. But after 30 years, I got stuck in the ideas of what could have been, and it took me several weeks to get back to the focus on me, where it belongs. I would think I know better than to suffer from someone else's disease. But this is exactly the reason I must keep coming back, because back slides do happen. And although I have much progress as I look back over time, there will never be perfection.
