The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
The sentence that jumped out at me from todays page is from the middle of the text: Recovery is not a contest. Todays reading is about acknowledging that slips and falling back into pre alanon behavior/reactions is part of recovery. Our slogan progress, not perfection is mentioned as well and I think of this as being in a better place today than I was a few years ago and also knowing that I am not exempt from going back to thoughts, reactions and behaviors from those years. The writer describes reverting to old behaviors when encountering people with whom there might be a complicated history, in the writers case- her father. The writer describes feeling and acting like a young girl again. It sometimes takes her days to come back to her adult self.
I have noticed that when (not if) I am brought back to complicated interactions, it takes less time to bounce back. I am accepting that progress and am working on ways not to get blind sided by these old memories and scenarios. The thought for the day reminds me of my sponsor, who has helped me in innumerable ways to see where I was, where I am, and the possibilities ahead: If I cant see my growth, perhaps the perspective of a fellow member will give me a better view.
A couple of days ago I reacted without even taking the time to stop and think. It was an automatic response(actually more of a habit I think). But I stopped mid sentence(mid yell actually) and gently closed my mouth and walked away.
It made me feel good about myself, I was like boom chakalaka....I CAN stop reacting this way if I just stay aware and pracrice,practice,practice.And when I do slip I can always begin again. I felt like doing a happy dance about it.
Thank you so much for your service, Mary! I so appreciate being able to come here to my touchstone when I am able.
I learn from all your shares, and certainly, many times can commiserate! SF, I had the same type of thing happen to me!! I caught myself in mid-sentence of trying to "solve" a loved one's problem, and I just shut my mouth, and calmly said, "I am sorry, that is not what I meant to say. What I meant to say is, "How can I be of service/help?"
That was Al-Anon that did that!! Like you, SunnyFrogs, I felt empowered!
So a huge KUDOS to you for using your Al-Anon tools to their fullest!
I am feeling stressed, over-worked, and underappreciated today. I know that I need to get into the yard and feel the soil and get some sun. I thank my HP that I live in a state not blanketed with snow! I will be early planting strawberries, blackberries, a new blueberry bush, and radish/onion/lettuce! I will thank my HP for all the blessings that I currently have in my life, & ask for patience with other things I may need/want. I will remember Betty's words of, "...having an ATTITUDE OF GRATITUDE."
I hope all my MIP friends enjoy a peaceful Sunday!
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"The wolf that thrives, is the one you feed." - Cherokee legend
"Hello, sun in my face. Hello you who made the morning and spread it over the fields... Watch, now, how I start the day in happiness, in kindness." Mary Oliver
Good Day All. It's amazing how the Al-Anon program seeps into my soul and my new behaviours become easier. For example, today when my hubby asked how was the gym I said. "Good ". Before, I'd outline every facet of my workout as his eyes glazed over or reverted back to the T.V. Hurt and annoyed, I'd slink away muttering he doesn't care about my goals/interests. Today, I kept it simple, got on with some chores and he actually asked follow up questions. Truth is, I didn't care if he didn't care ! Boom Shakalaka...gotta say, SF, that's been an earworm all morning and I've been grinning like a fool...lol. Thank you Mary for your service and the ESH of everyone that highlights progress not perfection.
Thank you Mary for your service and the daily. I recall being a child and hearing, "Do your best." I also recall hearing about it when it was perceived I did not do my best. In a nutshell, at some point in my upbringing, I became a perfectionist and it never dawned on me that less than perfect was normal.
Thus began the journey of exhaustion, spinning, etc. for a long while and a bunch of frustration, disappointment, self-esteem issues and feelings of failure. It is in recovery that others embraced and accepted me exactly as I was - a defeated, broken, kind of crazy gal who desperately needed help.
Those who came before me helped me come to understand that life is a series of events with ups/down/wins/losses and it's all normal. I learned in recovery how to set aside my ego, be human and face life on life's terms, with humility. I am far from perfect and that's OK for me and with me today. I do make mistakes, I create set-backs, and what truly matters to my heart these days is how I bounce back.
I don't have to let a small part of my day ruin or consume my whole day or a series of days. I truly can step back, regroup and start my day over. It has been a relief to be able to grow and change enough to accept LTP - Less Than Perfect is my normal. So long as I become willing upon awakening each day, one day at a time and keep doing the best I can, all is well in my world...
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Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging. Pause before assuming. Pause before accusing. Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret. ~~~~ Lori Deschene
to you for using your Al-Anon tools to their fullest!
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