The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Comments of gratitude at Alanon meetings helped this member refocus by turning away from worry and the business of others to see beauty that is all around and feel the hope of obtaining Serenity. We cannot carry the burden of others; trying to only ensures a decrease in our emotional bandwidth.
Reminder: Alanon helps us focus on the positives in the world around us and dim the difficulties that we may be using to self-create our misery.
"After a time in AlAnon, we discover we are acquiring a sense of reality which is absolutely essential to serenity." - unattributed -------------- In a 360 degree world, I must choose what to look at and focus on. Alanon helped me reset the criteria I use to do that.
For most of my life, most of my focus was on things outside of my control, ensuring almost constant agitation and unrest within myself and encroachment into the business of others...Serenity was virtually unknown to me.
Although I still struggle with focus at times, the differences I have felt since working to restrict view to my 'circle' of things I control and reasons to be grateful and hopeful, have been incredibly positive and rewarding.
I read widely for motivation and improvement, but the foundation and ruling principles are from Alanon. What I focus on is what I see, then believe, then achieve...for better or for worse.
Very grateful for the wisdom of Alanon
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Paul
"...when we try to control others, we lose the ability to manage our own lives." - Paths to Recovery
Thanks Paul for your service and ESH. The words that struck a chord with me are "self-create our misery.". I was great at that for years! I lived in a perpetual state of misery and did not know how to turn that around. But this program teaches me ODAT, that I can self-create peace, forgiveness, compassion, and serenity. I can love myself with my flaws and assets. Grateful member.
Good morning, Paul, and everyone who has shared. Thank you for this reading.
I love the phrase "dims the glare of our difficulties." This is something I appreciate about our program. It's realistic. It doesn't promise rainbows and unicorns all the time -- but it does point out that there is no problem to great to be lessened. I certainly find that gratitude does that for me.
Thanks Paul for your service/ESH. I'm toasty warm now that my furnace issue has been resolved. It was quite a treat(insert sarcasm here) doing all the legwork to keep things running smoothly and dealing with service techs while hubby laid on the couch ...At some points I wondered if I lived alone ...Anyways, grateful to have program tools that kept me from doing spiritual harm to myself. I'm chuckling with HP- temps were bitterly cold when the sucker broke down and next two days will be like spring! The reading/shares are like a soothing balm. Have a terrific Tuesday.
It's so good to be back and participating again.And to be reading all these helpful things. I read these shares and was like "oh yeah,having an attitude of gratitude" really changes things.
I had almost forgotten that. Probably why I have been so miserable...
I too had forgotten, but, forgotten "how to do gratitude." I tried to make a mental list and even verbally gave thanks. I really did. It stopped working for me as I got off balance in all areas. I lost self again. Pretty sorry place to get but glad to be back
Thank you Paul for your service and the daily. For me, it began with practicing gratitude. My sponsor kept suggesting I try to focus on what was better vs. what was broken. I had to keep my focus on me and my recovery. It was so very difficult as I had spent so much time and energy on focusing on other people, places and things.
What I know now is that serenity comes to me and stays for me when I keep the focus on myself. At any point in time, when I change my focus to other people, places and/or things, I am choosing to forfeit my serenity and power. This has been my experience over and over again.
As I have grown in this program, I've come to accept that the disease and the diseased are not the cause of my illness. Rather, it's the way I view and process life on life's terms. I believe that when I am spiritually fit, I can and have survived the unimaginable. Yet, when I try self-reliance and allow my ego front and center in my brain, I become restless, irritable and discontent.
I used to believe that I had it really bad and others would not understand or relate to me/my life. I've come to accept and remember that everyone is dealing with something, and I can chose light over darkness, hope over fear and faith not optional in my program/life.
What a weird weather week - golfed 3 days and then 8 inches of snow today. Hibernation time for me - rest and relaxation too!
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Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging. Pause before assuming. Pause before accusing. Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret. ~~~~ Lori Deschene
