The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
In today's C2C reading. the writer recalls being so angry about dishes piling up in the sink that they were ready to end a deeply valued relationship. But after sharing the problem with a friend, they realised that the dishes were symbolic of all of the problems within the relationship which felt overwhelming. The key message is to try to stop seeing all of your worries, concerns and obstacles as one big insurmountable mess, and instead break it down into small, manageable chunks and literally take it one day at a time. The reading reminds us that when we blow things out of proportion instead of taking them as they come and "doing the next right thing", we cause ourselves needless suffering.
I like this reading. It reminds me of a conversation I had with a friend that I play computer games with. You know the kinds of games where you do quests and in return, you gather skills and useful items? Then when you're strong enough, you go slay the big monster. You get the idea. Well, I was complaining to her that I felt overwhelmed with problems and that my life was one big exhausting game of whack-a-mole. Solve one problem, 3 more pop up right away kinda thing. She said "Mel, when you first start a new character in a computer game, you can't just race to the end and kill the dragon. You have to solve a long series of problems and tasks and face defeats along the way in order to get strong enough. Why don't you try looking at your life as a series of quests designed to level you up as you go?" I thought this was exceedingly wise advice and it helped me visualise a way of taking things one day at a time. Then, when I remember, I can pause after each challenge has been faced and think on what I have learned from that challenge before moving on to the next one.
I really like the idea of treating each obstacle as a challenge rather than looking at every difficulty I am facing or think I will face as overwhelming, and then feeling angry and overwhelmed. Sometimes life really is one problem after another, but that doesn't have to make me feel defeated or miserable. I am welcome to view it as a series of challenges instead, and deal with them one at a time. Hooray!
-- Edited by Youknowme on Thursday 27th of January 2022 03:18:47 AM
Good Morning Youknowme. Thank you for a message that's brought my spirit back to life. Suffered an ankle sprain and during my rest, I became highly irritable. It was the final straw. I had a routine that helped me stay positive/motivated and physically active (in spite of the bitter cold) and this minor injury closed escape routes for detachment. I appreciated my husband's efforts to pamper me, however, I noticed my critical spirit was busy at work but I kept my thoughts to myself! lol Anyways, I'm back on my feet (literally) and will pray as I get the house back in shape...one chore at a time. Have a wonderful day. Thank you MIP and hope all are safe.
Thanks YKM for your service and for above ESH. I can relate to having physical issues interfere with the things I like and need to do to say sane and at peace. Years ago my arthritis was so bad after hip surgery I walked with a cane for 2 years! I was in my 20's and lots of people would walk up to me and say, "skiing right?" All I could do was stay calm and not reply. It was a difficult time indeed. Had I this program then, I could have learned to take one day at a time, or one hour, or even on minute. But it's taken years for me to find the courage to get involved with alanon. Better late than never, lol.
Yes, indeed, one challenge at a time is the way for me to go. I love how your friend made the analogy to a computer game. It's so great when someone can meet us where we are, explain things in ways that make sense to us.
(((DM2021))...keeping you in my prayers for healing . Thank you Lyne for your share...helps me get back into gratitude. Freetime, "happies vs crappies" kept me sane and gave me good laughs.
Thank you Mel for your service and the daily. I have spent a lifetime feeling as if that hard times were bigger than me and only happened to me. I had a long-serving habit of turning ant hills into mountains and convincing myself my problems were larger than life. I am so grateful this program gave me a different way to address life and all that it brings. Finding clarity from my insanity brought about by this disease, I came to realize and accept that everyone has issues/problems and how we manage them is what matters - there's not a right/wrong way always.
I truly try to practice one day at a time. I truly try to practice finding solutions vs. dwelling on the issue/problem. I do better than before, yet always have room for improvement. I firmly believe that each experience I encounter every day is intended to teach me something and that helps me change my attitude.
Love and light to all - been off for a few days and it's great to stop by!!!
__________________
Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging. Pause before assuming. Pause before accusing. Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret. ~~~~ Lori Deschene