The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Today my baby girl turns 19. Last night she and I went to the movies- she drove us there and back- and today she has gone to get (another) tattoo (insert serenity prayer here). Yes, she is that grown up now, and I couldn't be more proud of her, nor grateful for the magical gift she seems to have for transmuting hardships and failings into growth and success.
Life was terribly imperfect as she was growing up and of course I wish she hadn't been exposed to so much dysfunction and hardship, but I had this program to turn to and what I learned about myself and the amount of control I have over another person's choices and feelings has made these teenage years infinitely more enjoyable (if not easier!) than it could ever have been if I had not had to learn so many hard lessons earlier in her childhood. I think I have been a much better parent for it than I could ever have been otherwise. And also, I hope that in finally removing myself from the ghastly situation we were living in with my ex A and staying steadfast, she might have absorbed some wisdom about detachment. She certainly seems to be quite good at standing up for herself (ha). I didn't have detachment or self-preservation or the ability to say no, or any of that modelled for me and I finally started to learn it here, as an adult, in al-anon.
So today, I would like to express my gratitude for all of the game-changing lessons I have learned so far through both hardships and through all of the transformative tools al-anon has taught me, and for the myriad wonderful impacts that has had on my life and my ability to be a parent. I'm excited about returning to al-anon and all of the learning and growing that is yet to come until I eventually achieve the status of Al-anon Master lol.
Thank you all for being here and for letting me share. I'm a very grateful member today.
YKM, happy (daughter's) birthday! What an achievement. I can relate to extreme gratitude when seeing how much there is to celebrate about my kids. Perfection? No. Gratitude for life and a good relationship -- Yes!
Reading about your daughter driving you to the movies -- I still remember the sheer terror of sitting in the passenger seat when my kids were first learning to drive. I'm not sure even Al-Anon would have helped with that -- but the kids are very good drivers now. I also remember the first time they took me out to dinner at a restaurant -- and paid with their own money!
Al-Anon helps me every day to have a good relationship with my adult kids, and I am so grateful for that.
-- Edited by Freetime on Tuesday 25th of January 2022 11:06:49 AM
YKM, how wonderful to hear good news! My son also grew up in a very dysfunctional environment and at the time I did not know how to help myself. Now he is a grown man with his own family and for all the mess, he is doing fairly well. I forgive myself for those years because I did the best with what had been given to me. I'm proud of myself now for being in this program for 10 years. I will continue to try and learn from mistakes and will always be grateful for the new life program gives me.
Late to the party Mel - I can't believe she's 19!!! It seems like yesterday when she was just beginning the teen years. How awesome that she's able to keep moving forward and learning from life experiences...Grateful you both are in a great space and hope she had a lovely birthday!!
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Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging. Pause before assuming. Pause before accusing. Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret. ~~~~ Lori Deschene
