The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
The writer describes murderous weapons towards the alcoholic as: indignation in a strident voice, irresponsible accusations, nagging, tears, hysteria, self-righteousness, etc. These weapons are a killer for the alcoholic to look for a better life, they kill love and respect, they cause unbearable guilt, and they destroy those who use them.
The writer suggests a new set of tools: tolerance, kindness, patience, courtesy, love, humor, and a determination to do what's necessary to improve their own life.
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I have been guilty of using murderous weapons, and I might add snooping to the list prior to alanon. I am not proud of any of those. I have gotten better at compassion and understanding, and this past week I was able to avoid a merry go round of a mess by just minding my own business. Please let me add that I cannot do this 100% of the time, but I do see progress not perfection, in ways I never thought possible. Grateful member always.
Thank you Lyne for your service, today's reading and very honest ESH.
I agree that I do not, 100% of the time, practice "tolerance, kindness, patience, courtesy, love, humor, and a determination to do what's necessary to improve their own life".
Just very grateful for MIP/Al-Anon for the gift of personal education and continual improvement!!
__________________
"Forgiveness doesn't excuse bad behavior, but it
does prevent bad behavior from destroying your heart". ~ unknown
Happy Monday MIP. Thank you Lyne for your service and the daily. I also deployed an arsenal of weapons that did not work prior to recovery. I truly never intended to become 'that' - it's just a byproduct of living with the insanity of this disease. I can look back, with gratitude, and find joy in choosing to be & do different today.
I am hopeful that at some point, the tools we learn to practice in recovery become more natural. More often than not, when I am discontent or bothered, a part of me - deep within - wants to react vs. respond. I'm very grateful for this program, those who came before me and the ESH always flowing to help me choose and use new, healthier tools.
We've got cold weather and not much melting. It will be a stay home/stay warm kind of day around here! Find and keep your joy MIP!
__________________
Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging. Pause before assuming. Pause before accusing. Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret. ~~~~ Lori Deschene
