The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Hi, it's WendyP, just wanted to share about my recent journey, when I couldn't get online to the MIP program. After trying and trying, and not getting anywhere, and with nothing that I tried, I really thought that I had lost it, and started to think of what it would be like for me to have to work my program, alone. Like I have had to before I found this marvellous program. Mr Fear set in and I started to get really nervous, as I knew that it was going to be much harder to work my program, and keep things in perspective.
But afterwards, when I started to settle down, and looked at what I could do next to help myself keep going. As my program is so important to me and always has been. I started to look at my other options, but if I had lost the MIP program then I asked My HP to help me and show me the way. When I looked at the lessons I had to learn from it all, was a shock to me, because I realised that I had been taking this program for granted.
That I wasn't giving myself the benefit of recovery because I was taking it for granted. Why, because I was scared, and didn't feel that I had anything good to say or share. Like others have. I have held myself back for so long, yes, reading all of your sharings, and not been game to put myself out there to participate as much as I needed to and wanted to. I have realised too, that in that area I have allowed, things, circumstances, people to take away my confidence in myself. That for me, is sad, for I have always tried to do my best and worked hard for my recovery, and always felt strong in myself.
I also realised that I am dependent, on my HP, this Program, and others, which is also a big thing for me. As I have always tried not to be dependent on anyone except my HP. But I am and need to be, as I can't do this, walk through Life by myself, I no longer want to be by myself.
So just for today, I am so grateful for God for showing me the lessons that I needed to see and learn, and hopefully, from know I can start to make a difference for myself.
Thank You all for helping me get where I need to be.
{{{Wendy}}}. Welcome back! I think of my participation in program as a choice for my benefit and well-being. I could say Im dependent on it but without it, I wasnt doing well at all. I exercise because it helps me stay physically moving and a little strong. Am I dependent on it? Probably. :). But at my age I know without it its not going to be good for me at all. So I guess Im saying its all about my attitude. My dog brings me joy and happiness. Is that dependency? Im going to cut myself some slack. I think if I depend on things that are self-destructive, thats bad. If I depend on things that help me be healthy mentally and physically, well heck, thats smart!
Thanks for all your responses, and Lyne, I thought on what you said, and it makes sense to me. Looking at it in another way. If I am going to be dependent, then ask myself is it a healthy dependency or unhealthy one.? At the moment I am in the middle of the 3 A'S in the acceptance mode of what I have discovered about myself of late.
I know where the fear of it comes from, it is all inner self issues. That is what I have to ask my HP for help with. I m the type of person, who, if I lose my Serenity, I have to stop and see what the problem is, so I can sort it out with help, from my HP or to work my program. But for now, I am going to cut myself some slack. I tell myself, if, I can't hear the Birds, I know I am in trouble, so I am going to listen to the Birds.
