The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
This reading looks at why we forget certain ideas or truths even though we are often reminded in meetings, for example: alcoholism is a disease, the alcoholic has an illness, and we should not punish people for being sick. Real acceptance is difficult, and our immediate attitude toward the alcoholic can be hostile, as though they were an enemy out to destroy us. Alanon reminds us that these hostile feelings hinder our spiritual progress and family improvement. It is suggested we rid ourselves of resentment, indignation, judgement, bitterness, and pity for ourselves.
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When I was new to program, these ideas seemed ridiculous and impossible. I felt abused, unloved, unfairly treated, and the marriage I thought I had (deluded myself) had turned into a foreign relationship. How and why did this happen?? And I knew how to make it right but my A was not listening to my suggestions. Of course it took a number of years to get close to adopting the above suggestions, but over time my attitude has dramatically changed. I do love an alcoholic even though it is not the preferred situation. I have become a kinder and more compassionate spouse. I have the option to divorce, but since Im not doing that, it is important I treat everyone with respect, including my A.
Thank you Lyne for your service. What wonderful words you have all written down! Words can be so easy... actions sometimes are hard - not having resentments in particular. But this program and the examples of others working it can help make the "action" part not so hard!
I too, aim for Gratitude and Humbleness each day.
Here's to the start of a new week!
__________________
"The wolf that thrives, is the one you feed." - Cherokee legend
"Hello, sun in my face. Hello you who made the morning and spread it over the fields... Watch, now, how I start the day in happiness, in kindness." Mary Oliver
Thank you Lyne for your service/ESH and all the shares. "When I see us both as people, without labeling, I can be more open to loving others and myself unconditionally" really hit home. I came here to fix my hubby and in the process, learned I was just as sick (if not sicker) than him. Since working the steps, I have mended broken relationships with my mom and best friend. I recall when my first husband and I split, I told him he'd be sorry and would never find someone like me. He responded "I hope not". Ouch! I was so focused on his infidelity, I couldn't see anything wrong with me. I have been able to accept that I can be a fine piece of work... In the last year, I have had major breakthroughs that have renewed my spirit and given purpose to my life. The 12 steps have graced me with healing old/recent wounds. PNP, I hope you're on the mend after your horrific fall. Hope everyone has a great day.
