An interesting think is going on in my marriage.  My A is in a different 12-step program.  Progress is being made with her awareness level of when her behavior is off.  Sometimes it is after the fact but at least its seen in retrospect.  But we have had two very difficult weeks, with some resolve this morning.  My A keeps hoping our marriage is going to miraculously become something it never was, and then frustration and anger follows as the goal is not achieved.  I on the other hand, with a total of 10 years in alanon, have been able to arrive at a place of acceptance.  Is this a marriage made in heaven?  Heck no.  The first year was grand.  But now we have 29 not so much, and huge amounts of damage being done to both of us.  So I can see clearly nowacceptance, live and let live, let go and let God.  We are making some progress and I happily accept that.  Are we going to turn into the Brady Bunch?  Not in this lifetime.  :)