The material presented
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Sorry - I posted this by accident in the forum - so am reposting here.
Today's reading talks about the importance of self care. The author talks about facing a stressful situation or tackling a tough problem and once they have done everything they can for the moment, they instead do something that will nurture their mind, body or spirit. It may be a walk or listening to music, meeting a friend for coffee and conversation, having something nutritious to eat, sitting quietly and meditating or reading a book.
They describe Al-Anon as a program of action in which we recognise that we have choices about what we do with our time. A bubble bath, a massage, an Al-Anon call, a bike ride or a nap might be constructive ways to fill time that might otherwise be wasted on worry.
The author recognises that even though they may be powerless to change their circumstances, they are certainly not helpless. They can use their time to do something good for themselves and find that when they treat themselves with love and tenderness, that they are better able to deal with the challenges that life presents. They have a chance to feel good, even when surrounded by crisis.
Today's reminder - One of my primary responsibilities is to take care of myself. I will find a small way to do something for my mind, body and spirit today.
"Part of my recovery is respecting my need and my right to let go and relax"........In All Our Affairs
Yesterday I felt so sad and low. I was wallowing in sadness for what I felt I had lost from my past and my dreams for the future. Whilst I believe it is important to acknowledge how I feel, I know that I have a choice to continue to feel bad or do something which will help me cope.
I can have a very loud self critical voice and by practising self care I can show myself compassion instead of criticism.
It can be difficult to feel good when surrounded by chaos, especially when it is our home - a place which I hope represents safety and security. When things were really bad and my home was insecure, I built myself a haven in my bedroom which I could go to - light a beautiful candle and listen to some relaxing music and give myself some self care. When my AH was unconscious from drinking, I knew that I would be undisturbed. When he was drunk but still awake I knew that he would not respect my boundary and so had a list of places I could go where I could be gentle to myself and enjoy the moment.
I really like the line about respecting my need and right to let go and relax. Yesterday, despite the initial sadness led to a wonderful day of self care and for that I am truly grateful.
Thank you BT for your service and ESH. Self-care was something I had to be taught, at first by therapists and then here in program. Between being abused in childhood, a 12 year stint in the arts, followed by addicted partners, I had only been taught self-abuse. I can remember in high school and college attending classes when sick with flu and fever.
Things are quite different today, thank God. I plan restful and pleasant things for myself daily. Program has given me permission and encouragement to take control over the one person I can do that withme!
Thank you for your post BT, and Lyne for your ESH.
I can truly relate to being "one of the gang" who always think of themselves last. No more! Al-Anon, my sponsor, and my good friends/support buddies here helped me learn to put "my oxygen mask on first." I too, have a very loud self-criticism voice...showing myself compassion was a huge lesson to learn. While with my qualifier, I had nowhere that was my haven... so the outdoors was my space. It has always been a place for me to recharge, relax and rejuvenate - even it is hard manual labor in the yard, somehow I always end up feeling at peace.
Glad you were able to recenter yourself, BT!
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"The wolf that thrives, is the one you feed." - Cherokee legend
"Hello, sun in my face. Hello you who made the morning and spread it over the fields... Watch, now, how I start the day in happiness, in kindness." Mary Oliver
