The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Today's author talks about originally viewing God as their adversary and engaging in a battle of wills, which rapidly led them to an emotional rock bottom. They came to Al-Anon but were reluctant to admit they were powerless.
Eventually, with Al-Anon's help they learned how to surrender and finally realised that surrender does not mean submission, but rather being willing to stop fighting reality, to stop trying to do God's part and do their own.
They share the example that when they are gathering flowers or marvelling at nature's wonders, they do not lose face when they concede they are not in control and that the best way to invite serenity is to recognise that the world is in good hands.
Today's reminder - Today I can be grateful that the earth will continue to revolve without any help from me. i am free to live my own life, safe in the knowledge that a Higher Power is taking care of the world, my loved ones and myself.
"The Frist Step prepares us for a new life, which we can achieve only be letting go of what we cannot control, and by undertaking, one day at a time, the monumental task of setting our world in order through a change in our own thinking." - ODAT in Al-Anon
It took me a long time to accept the concept of a Higher Power and an even longer time to surrender my will. I lived under the façade of having an element of control, which I applied to everything and anyone who I thought needed my help. Of course, it just led to lots of negative emotions which rippled out into the family and I eventually had to concede it was my own actions which were causing as much chaos as the alcoholics.
With my sponsors help, I looked at why I was struggling to admit powerlessness and realised that having a sense of control helped me to feel safe. Of course this was just an illusion and so again with my sponsor's help, I worked at reframing safety and focusing on what I was in control of. I identified each attitude I had and whether it was something I was really in control and even if it was, I stepped back and looked at whether it was bringing me serenity or not. I made small changes until each became a habit.
Today, I focus on what is within my power and just let go of the rest. I like to imagine handing over the parts outside of my control to the Universe and find that this brings me peace.
I learned from my early sponsor that the acronym for EGO was "Easing God Out" and while I didn't seriously think I was doing that I went with the thought of it. Doing my inventories revealed that I most certainly wasn't give God primary consideration for the choices in my life so I must have been easing God out. After continuous work in the program and with that sponsor I was taught to turn it around to OGE and/or Offering God Entry Habitually and Constantly doing OGE has caused me to reverse control with my Higher Power. It works when I work it!!
Thank you BT for your service and share. Jerry I love OGE and EGO. Thank you for those, which Ive added to my bank of memorable quotes from program (Bless them, change me, always carry a QTIP, etc).
I also had the illusion of control, so I didnt need HP. But, I was suffering so, with no positive outcomes, and hence found the doors of program. I not only had to give up what I couldnt control, but also all the desperate behaviors I was trying and failing at. It required a bunch of things like acceptance, surrendering, patience, finding a sponsor, being humble, etc. And guess whatit was and still is all worth it!
