The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Today's Hope for Today reading tells the story of an Alanon member's growing up years with an alcoholic parent. The parent spoke directly to them through their alcoholism making what the alcoholic believed to be negative statements about the child and the child's future. The Alanon member wanted to prove their parent wrong but their attempts always seemed to fall short of achieving that goal.
They entered Alanon as an adult with willingness to live a different way. Although new to the program, they accepted a service position when they were prompted by their Alanon sponsor. They felt fearful that their performance would be criticized. Instead, they were praised for a job well done. Through this encouragement and assurance of a job well done, the member then found the courage to volunteer for even greater responsibility within their Alanon group. It was a journey of self discovery resulting in self-respect, happiness and self-esteem. The member then found the courage to finish college and enter the teaching profession. They credits being of service in their Alanon group for their personal progress. They believe the positive experience within their Alanon group helped them become the person they feel their higher power always wanted them to be.
Today's Reminder
Alanon service work provides a supportive training ground to find out the best of who I am and who I can become. "I can, I can, I can! And I do." When I Got Busy I Got Better p.22
I very much struggled with fear of failure when entering the Alanon program. Even after many years in the program, I struggle with this at times. The difference today is that because of Alanon I realize this is false evidence appearing real. This doesn't mean that I'm successful with everything I attempt. Of course not. But today I have greater courage to risk to try something new and a reasonable belief that I have as much of a chance for success as the next person if I am willing to put in the work. Whatever the outcome, I can be proud of my willingness and the lessons learned. The more self knowledge I gain, the better my choices become of things that honor who I truly am. With a bit of calculated risk, I keep growing. With fear of failure, I stay stuck.
Like the member in this reading I credit an Alanon service along with some in and out of the program for their support and encouragement. My service work began with setting up chair at my f2f meetings and chairing meetings here at MIP after six months in the program. John plucked me out of the line up in chat and sent me a pm asking me be a chair and Lucy trained me. This extended to becoming a monitor in the room along with chairing, welcoming the newcomer in private message, conflict management in the chatroom etc. The most rewarding part of that experience was helping the newcomer. Even being new myself, there were still those who were newer yet and I was able to at least share how Alanon was helping me and encourage them to find a f2f meeting in their area. I always had a co chair when chairing meetings here and we helped one another to perform the meeting service. At that time, I never believed I could successfully perform a service that involved technology and accommodate so many Alanon members at once. We had big meetings here years ago. Like the person in this reading such experiences lessened my fear to volunteer for other opportunities to be of service and to grow personally in my life outside the rooms of the Alanon program.
I believe that my higher power speaks to me through others and I believe that all of the unconditional love and encouragement that I have received through members while performing tasks to benefit the group has given me the courage to trust myself and attempt more in my personal life without fear of failure or criticism of others. The self critic has nowhere near the voice they once had. The self critic today notes where I might have done better but is gentle unlike the old self critic who endlessly chased me with the "you're not good enough" hammer. I am lovable, acceptable as the work in progress that I am. Today I embrace and accept my imperfection, When I fail, I don't see myself as a failure. Instead, I see a learning opportunity from the god of my understanding. When experiencing feelings of brokenness at times, I recognize my humanity. Because of Alanon, at such times I can feel a nudge from my hp that reminds me to simply accept and love myself unconditionally as my higher power does. I'm reminded to extend that outward to others daily. Every day I have a choice, I can either be led by my higher power or my past. I choose to keep progressing forward with compassion, acceptance and love of self and others just as we are. TT
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Surround yourself with people and elements that support your destiny, not just your history.
I had not realised how deeply negative messages from my past had become a part of me. Being told I was worthless, not good enough, not wanted, not loved - all set up a fertile ground for me entering a series of dysfunctional relationships as an adult, including that with my AH.
The acceptance and non judgement I found at Al-Anon meetings started to change that and then my Step 4 changed it some more. Through service I can recognise others on a similar journey and hope that by sharing our ESH we each help the other to keep moving forwards.
TT, thanks for your service and all the wonderful ESH above. Alanon provides us with a corrective emotional experience, as I learned about in the field of mental health. Through our meetings, lit, sponsors, steps, slogans, fellowship, service, etc., we truly have an opportunity to overcome the effects alcoholism has had on our lives. Thats what is so amazing about this program. It actually works when you work it, and a better life is possible. Grateful member always.
