The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
The reading for Monday, 7/26, addresses the problem of having illusions. The author talks about the illusion of having control over someone else. Tried as they might, they only received frustration. The author realized they could give up the illusion of having control. At that point they could let go and let God.
Another illusion is that the author felt they had a big hole inside, which could be filled with things outside themselfcompulsive shopping, obsessing about relationships, etc. The author realized it was actually a spiritual emptiness which needed to be filled from within. When the author could give up this illusion, true healing began.
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I relate to both examples in this reading regarding illusions. I honestly and sincerely believed I could control my A and get the drinking to stop. NOPE. I can recall the excitement of getting something new, be it big or small, but in a short amount of time I was right back to my unhappy dilemma. Im not sure where I would be without this program. I receive healing in ways I never thought possible. We are truly miracles in progress.
Good Morning Lyne. Thank you for your service and shared wisdom. I was under the illusion that by putting all of my efforts into supporting my husband, he would see the light and take action to treat his illnesses. If anything, my hard work was counterproductive and managed to get us both sick(er). Since I gave up the job of saviour, we are both on a healing path. I am able to see how many of my behaviours/actions prior to Al-Anon were leading to further destruction. By turning things over to my HP, I am less stressed and more blessed. Have a wonderful day.
Thank you, Lyne, for your ESH. I needed this one today! My son is really struggling. He cannot see that his disease is what is messing with his life, instead he blames other people and circumstances. I want to intervene! I want to fix him! But I know from experience that my voice is the last one on earth he will listen to...all I can do is watch/wait/pray. It throws me into a kind of crazy and I want to shop or make an appointment for a facial or massage, but I dont have the money anymore for that kind of thing. So, YES, I too need to fill that void with spiritual exercise. I need to practice gratefulness and keep my thoughts on my HP Just For Today.
I suppose I should start with being grateful that I do not have the money to shop or otherwise engage in activities that keep me from filling a spiritual hole with stupid stuff!!!
Thank you Lyne for your service and the daily. Thank you all for your shares and ESH. For me, prior to Al-Anon, I was deluded into thinking I had control over so many people, places and things falsely. I could spend a lifetime giving example after example of the insanity of me and my ego and the many things I tried to control and the mounting disappointments but there's no reason...I practice a completely different way now and no longer believe I have any power or control - my life's easier when I just believe in a power greater than I.
My youngest appeared at my door about 10 days ago. I wasn't expecting anyone and did not recognize him. In the eyes of his mother, he's a mess. In his eyes, he's getting by. What I know today about me is it's much easier to detach when I'm not a witness to the disease, first hand. I had not seen him for a long while and I honestly can't say it was good or bad to see him - it just is.
I do believe and trust in a power greater than I to heal me, no matter where my mind goes. As a mother, I had dreams and projections about how my children would be and how our lives would be. The reality is so, so far from all 'that' it spins my brain often. I do know that I have choices every day, and over and over, one day at a time, I just choose joy. It's not always easy to wake up and show up, yet I try. That's all that I'm expected to do - show up and be willing.
I do not know what tomorrow will bring, but I do know that for today and one day at a time, I truly no longer have any interest in chaos, insanity and drama. At any point, at any moment, I will do all that I know to do to step towards the calm, and for that I'm grateful for this program. I didn't know how to do that before; I felt attached to the pain, chaos, insanity of this disease in those I love and didn't know how to detach.
Love and light all - hotter than hot here - golf early or not at all. (((Hugs)))
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Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging. Pause before assuming. Pause before accusing. Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret. ~~~~ Lori Deschene
I can relate to the whole inside and the instant gratification I needed with compulsive shopping was my thing obsessing about stuff I had no control over and until I decided to look within myself and get to know me from within it was only then that I can start getting free of this. I really didnt think I could control other people and I just kept banging my head against the wall Until I finally realized that I cannot control anything outside of my own attitudes and my own thoughts and even then I have to work hard on that but literally the only thing I can control is whether or not I want to work on me and that is a full-time job
-- Edited by mamalioness on Monday 26th of July 2021 09:35:00 PM
