The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Today's author in Courage to Change could be described as a workaholic. They kept busy with a constant frenzy of work, projects, and obligations -- so they didn't have to to rest long enough to feel how frightening their home life was. They had no idea how to relax, and were abusing socially acceptable activities -- until they became exhausted and reached the doors of Al-Anon.
They learned that over-work was not self-love, and they would never make someone they loved live that way. A sponsor helped them learn to take it easy, and now relaxation is part of their daily routine.
Today's reminder: Hard work can be terrific, and my activities can be highly rewarding. But I am striving for some balance. Today I will look at how I spend my time, and set some of that time aside to relax.
Quote from Bertrand Russell: "The time you enjoy wasting is not wasted time."
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I keenly remember, when the effects of alcoholism were affecting my life, keeping busy to avoid how frightening my home life was. I had a full time job, took classes, went to the gym, did volunteering -- and each one of those was a relief from my real life. It was all productive, but the root of a lot of it was avoidance.
Today, I try not to over-schedule myself. I no longer have to flee in fear. I have tools that allow me to take joy in life, and at times to -- Yikes! -- be unproductive, not producing anything except a sense of well-being in myself. I learned it's important to stop when I am tired, and to say no when a commitment would interfere with my serenity.
One way I relax is by stepping outside and just looking at the trees, squirrels, and birds.
hey Freetime, THANK you for this "needed to be seen" post and your share
I am STILL doing "busy" stuff because I don't want to face my current situation where I am definitely in the "hallway/waiting room" of my life..Dunno what is my next adventure, so I get "over busy" to run away from it..I'm doing all I can to "help the universe along" and to make sure I am "detaching" I DO stuff and if it isn't fixing something in the house, its tidying up my restrooms, or working out, or sorting my videos, you name it!
I can't SIT STILL long enough and just BE...just Be in my body...just this "need to be busy" mindset of late...running away from my feelings...running away because when I DID feel my feelings, I cried rivers over the uncertainty I am in and I guess I didn't want to cry anymore, hence the need to just "be busy" and avoid
I am doing EFT tapping and meditations and loads of "claiming my birthright of having my needs met, stable means of support, love, health, etc" I'm doing this at night to try and slow me down, I can detach /get out of the way but still be present in me..so boundary has been set---tomorrow and through the weekend, it is going to be --- easy does it and lots of rest and meditation/connecting with me...
My sleep patterns are a mess. I could be an owl ...or a bat...sleeping till noon cuz I cannot get to sleep at a decent time at night...just give me a cave and a place to hang upside down on and I will be right at home-----
-- Edited by mamalioness on Friday 16th of July 2021 12:59:39 AM
Good Morning Freetime. Thank you for your service/ESH, and Rose, (((BIG HUG))). Every weeknight, I watch Wheel of Fortune and Jeopardy. I am on my way to the Y which involves a walk to/from, I listen to music when exercising, and joke around with my gym mates . Overall, learning to Easy Does It in other areas has been relaxing. Have a great day.
Daffodils, that is great that youre going to the gym. And you know music is very therapeutic. It puts me in a very peaceful dimension where I am forced to focus on the tunes and listen to the tunes and therefore I am tuning out all the influences outside influences that could be triggering or unpleasant in some other way Music is really great and I am going to, thanks to you reminded me, I am going to start listening to music more and just go with the rhythm of what tune I am hearing. I always feel better. And my slogan for today, also, is easy does it
(((HUGS))). Back at you
-- Edited by mamalioness on Friday 16th of July 2021 06:13:59 AM
Thanks Ft for your service and for great shares above. I can relate to not being able to be still. I had to be doing something or else the unhappiness and chatter in my head was unbearable. I believe program has helped me learn to take better care of myself, and that can be resting my back, playing a game on my phone, or watching a cherished show I have taped. I no longer feel guilty if I am not busy. Easy does it and keep it simple are now slogans I embrace.
Thank you for the service Freetime. And thanks to all for the ESH. I have found over the years of motherhood and then motherhood and work and study that the thing I miss most in my life is moments of solitude. I get that in the evenings somewhat. I still miss it during dayllght hours. In solitude I find the answers come naturally without me needing to think and analyse. Solitude recharges me. Recently I decided that hard work brings rewards and one of those rewards is rest. Yesterday I asked for solitude and had the children cared for over a 4 hour period during the day. During this time, I relaxed by doing nothing. I made my daughters bed, pulled out my computer and read some literature laying down. I took myself out for pizza. I consciously luxuriated in knowing there was nothing at all demanding my attention for that time period. I enjoyed relaxing. I appreciated it and did not feel guilty about taking it, which is something I have mentally always struggled with, feeling like i didn't deserve to rest. Now that I have a short break between study semesters, I can create a schedule that deliberately sets time aside for meditation and recovery practice. I am aiming for 20 minutes a morning. It would be lovely also to be able to carve out 4 straight childcare hours a week to just relax my mind. We shall see. Wishing all a great day.
Lyne. Thank you and thank all of you for letting me know that I am not alone with this endless mind chatter and not being able to be still and what you all are doing to settle yourselves down. Yup everyone of you really helped me add to my arsenal and yes easy does it and keep it simple are my favorite slogans I think and also throw in one day at a time. Today I am watching a very good true story movie and I am actually able to focus on the movie and enjoy its content. Tommy Lee Jones did a stellar job as Gary Gilmore in this true story movie, executioners song. So I am really into it and his costar, Rosanna Arquette really did a great job. I get up and I do stretches and I do back massage because my back feels tight but I got the gardening done with the weeds. It looks a lot better back there. And to me gardening is not work, its a good way to get exercise and relax. I am doing things to please me and relax me and keep me focused on the right now. Chores can wait
Thank you Freetime for your service and the daily. Thanks to all for your shares & ESH. I relax by 'doing'....I have never been one to relax in a still state. It makes me uncomfortable and antsy. I have no doubt that my brain is wired differently because of the disease we've been affected by, directly or indirectly.
So, I relax by exercising with music. I enjoy walking with music. I watch/observe/experience nature while I golf. I tend to catch up on email/other computer while I'm watching news. I have never been good at single-tasking and prefer multi-tasking. I can pray while vacuuming, showering, driving, golfing, etc. I can meditate while pedaling my bike or lifting weights.
I do best with a routine and do shut my phone/computers off at a certain time each night. Those who need to reach me know how to do so. I tend to get horizontal at the same time each night. I get up close to the same time each day. I start and end my days as taught in this program and relax while shutting down for the night.
Having 2 parents still here and active at 86, I am convinced that part of their good health is that they keep moving. I believe when we sit more than not, we've accepted and chosen to 'slow down'. I'm not planning to do that until I am forced to do so! I'm the 'odd ball' - I find dusting, vacuuming, organizing, cooking/baking as relaxing simply because I choose to do 'it' vs. feel I have to do it.
I love that our program allows each of us to do what works for us. In the other side of the program, we truly advise against idle minds and idle hands. It can lead to stinking thinking and ..... I am as busy today as I was when I worked FT - it's just a completely different kind of busy...
Happy Friday all - dragging a bit from blood donation yet golfed with friends. I am taking tomorrow 'off' from all things - golf, volunteering, etc. to do some painting here. I also have a few home repairs to handle before I paint. Hope you have a great weekend!!
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Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging. Pause before assuming. Pause before accusing. Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret. ~~~~ Lori Deschene
