The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
I am grateful to another young member for the "taking a stand" title I am riding at the moment because I have been procrastinating for 2 days on making an amends for missing care on a service position here at home. Just recently I volunteered to take care of the coffee service in my just recently restarted home group. I had reasons not to yet came thru saying yes not paying attention to reasons I should share it or not do it at all. It's not a big deal and also is the service I was asked to do when I first joined Al-Anon down the street from here. It was easier then because the coffee was instant and this service is Keurig. Anyhow last Thursday I forgot it was Thursday (service day) and didn't even show up for the meeting I was thinking a day late which for my age Is becoming usual. I am taking a memory support med which doesn't always work; inventory evidence #1. I am from Hawaii and have lived daily on a +3 hour DST schedule which doesn't fare well with my appointments and I am not a real coffee person. I can add to the evidence and won't. I spoke with the meeting manager and haven't got a return call etc so I have come to MIP Family to express my amends and stand for any return suggestions you might have.
Just had a cup of coffee and found it distasteful so maybe the next cup will be okay? I've got writing tools and an open mind right now so let me hear from any of you who care to. I know you all have Experience, Strength and hope. Mahalo. Jerry F
Dear Jerry I dont Know what ESH to give you right now so I will give you a big giant hug and I cant imagine you doing some thing where you need to make amends however that said, we all make mistakes progress over perfection. I see you as one of the most gentle and loving people I have seen on this board
((((((((((((((((Jerry)))))))))))))))))
{{{Jerry}}}, my ESH is that I have Experience forgetting what day it is, Strength in numbers that when I have a service position I am hopefully not doing it alone and someone else can step up if I cannot, and Hope that when I remember what day it is I will do the right thing.
Just last week I showed up late for a Zoom Al-Anon meeting because my brain told me the meeting started at 7:30pm. Nope -- it starts at 7:00.
I don't wear a wrist watch, because apparently they are not cool. I have a smart phone that can always tell me what day and time it is -- and it can even remind me of appointments -- but am I smart enough to always have the phone on me?
Easy Does It -- Keep It Simple -- How Important Is It? -- Let Go and Let (you know who)
-- Edited by Freetime on Saturday 10th of July 2021 04:13:41 PM
Jerry, I forget stuff all the time. Life gets in the way, stuff happens, maybe I didnt sleep properly the night before or perhaps it is just because I am a human and I make mistakes. Like the others hearsay, dont beat yourself up for something that is just human. Sometimes I joke about the fact that I would forget my head if it wasnt strapped onto my body
Jerry - when things are going reasonably well, it's easy for me to forget that I'm perfectly imperfect, will make mistakes and unintentionally let others down. To this day, I still get upset/frustrated (with me) when I am reminded by HP who I am and what I am. It tends to boil down to those darn expectations still, which we learn in recovery can lead us sideways with others - yet we forget about expectations of self.
My sponsor suggested to me (over and over and over again) that my authenticity comes from consistency. When I became better at treating myself and others in the same way - loving, kindness, tolerance, acceptance - consistently, voila - I've arrived. So, when I screw up, I need to just own it, accept it, correct it and thank my HP for another lesson.
For the record, in spite of having a mobile phone, a laptop, a desktop, a paper calendar on my fridge, etc. I rarely know what day it is. I have to look at my calendar many times to be on time for appointments, tee times, etc. When I worked, I was much more in tune with time/time management. I just do the best I can to be authentic and life does tend to be good around me, in spite of me!
__________________
Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging. Pause before assuming. Pause before accusing. Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret. ~~~~ Lori Deschene
{{{Jerry}}}. I love honesty so much! What a refreshing share you made. If I could be perfect life would be better but hey, aint gonna happen. One of the wonderful things Betty taught me was not to beat myself up, and to embrace my assets, along with working with HP on the defects. I think you are doing just fine!
Good Morning Family and thanks for the lessons that brought my mind and thoughts back to "Progress NOT Perfection". Okay gonna go feed the little cherpers outside and then go meditate. ((((MIP))))
hey (((JerryL))) I think that is cool "feeding the little cherpers" and then, yea, meditate...I do it every night and I also cross my arms over my chest and tap while I meditate on where I want to be and I SEE it , FEEL it, etc., all the 5 senses....then sometimes I'll just meditate, just being with me and connected to my body, spirit, etc......Glad you got something out of our shares, though mine wasn't all that useful, I wanted to weigh in with some support...I know its hard to not demand perfection out of me and if I do or not do something out of just being human, yea, I can "get on me" pretty badly till I do my self talk about progress, NOT perfection......
Dear Jerry
I had Keurig for a while. Now I graduated
I like your attitude thr next one could be better
I am actually a tea person. I buy all kinds of tea. I have some Persian tea on order
I relish my tea and my freedom. I did not have any freedom when I lived with the alcoholic
I am really happy to have time to do things
I am so grateful to have time to reflect on what's next
What is going to be next for me?
How am I going to shape it
