The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
***MIP would LOVE to have a member take over the Saturday posting of a daily from one of our readers.*** If you have interest, you can post here or send me a Private Message!
Today's reading discusses how we often arrive at Al-Anon with a distorted self-image brought about by our exposure to Alcoholism. We often lose perspective on who we are and what we can and cannot do. We tend to accept ideas about our own limits which are not realistic.
Al-Anon helps us sort out our truth from these falsehoods by encouraging us to take a fresh, objective look at ourselves. We often come to realize that our self-views and beliefs are untrue. We are as fit as anyone else and a whole new way of life opens up when we are supported and encouraged in recovery to take that honest, fresh self-assessment.
Reminder: I won't let old, limiting ideas and doubts go unchallenged. I my discover strengths and talents that never had the chance to come to light. Today, by letting go of obsolete ideas, I have an opportunity to learn something wonderful about myself.
Quote: "Argue for your limitations, and sure enough, they're yours."
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For me, for many reasons - FOO, alcoholism, lack of self-esteem/worth - when I arrived at recovery, most of my thoughts, beliefs and 'definitions' were distorted. They were not all 'wrong' just distorted. I had a tendency to be very, very black/white in my views and it truly controlled many aspects of my being. So much so that I had never considered 'shades of gray'.
If another did not treat me as I wanted, I felt they did not 'love me'. This was an issue (mine) simply because I measured love based on my own (faulty/distorted) view of what love is/is not.
If another lashed out at me with angry words, I felt disrespected and devalued. Again, it never occurred to me before Al-Anon that this person may just be having a bad moment or a bad day and I'm 'there' in that moment.
Al-Anon has given me the personal freedom to quit taking all things personally. Al-Anon has given me the willingness to examine me and why I feel as I do, why I fear what I do and why I feel the need to try and control/change/manage many things that are not within my scope/control.
I'm a miracle in progress, pleased now with progress. For me, this is a miracle as I was one who felt a failure with results 'LTP' - Less Than Perfect. I now see and accept more shades of gray and feel comfortable being me - a perfectly imperfect person. Lately, I've been working hard to 'seek to understand' and accept that all others are also perfectly imperfect. When I get healthier, I get smarter with my expectations and acceptance of what truly is comes much easier now.
Happy Saturday all -- it's storming here and has been since middle of the night. Make it the best day possible - find and keep your joy!!
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Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging. Pause before assuming. Pause before accusing. Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret. ~~~~ Lori Deschene
I grew up here. I literally grew up here. I came here as an angry bitter resentment little lady who had nothing good to say about anything I was the walking wounded literally but something inside of me wanted to get better, wanted to grow, wanted to investigate and perhaps even embrace a better way of being and acting and thinking and all of it and oh boy I started out with a bang and I got chastised, lovingly, many times because I was such a little ram rod. I did not know what gentility was the only thing I had going for me was the insatiable desire to absorb this program and the steps and the slogans, I was desperate to get better and something kept telling me hang in there keep going keep going keep going one day at a time and progress over perfection and yeah I made some people mad on the way because I was so severely wounded and sick but the clean part of me the higher self part of me that was not tainted and injured by the abuse kept saying lets keep going lets keep carrying on one more step one more step and little by little I saw myself growing and people who knew me on the outside would say--wow youve changed for the better what happened? And I would tell them I was in Alanon and then I branched out and added to my recovery regimen and that was the other MIP offerings here so I was floating all over the place and absorbing the love and the eventual acceptance and because people knew that I felt remorse and sorrow for my mistakes, most of them for gave me and oh my goodness that was years ago. I dont even recognize any more of the old me like a snake or a spider shedding its old skin, every time I would have another growth spurt I would go into shedding my skin over and over and I you know what? I now like what I see. Alanon has transformed me, and I know I can get better still and that gives me a big bright shiny feeling in my heart. Thank you so much for this awesome post
Thank you Iamhere for a powerful daily. The shares above resonate with me . I'm so overwhelmed with emotions today and filled with joy for having you in my path. So many lessons to digest...Thank you
IAH, thanks so much for your service and all the wonderful ESH that came above. I think I began life in the deficit column, and its taken years to overcome. Yes FOO played a huge part because even though there wasnt alcoholism, the anger and abuse set me up for finding friends and partners who were addicts of all sorts. Choosing unavailable people seemed to be a pattern and both of my spouses, prior and present, were unavailable because their addictions were their priorities. I have come a long way and credit this program for much of it. Grateful member always.
