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Miracles In Progress 12 Step Recovery Forums -> Al-Anon Family Group -> Al-Anon Family Group -> July 8, ODAT - Listen Well
Post Info TOPIC: July 8, ODAT - Listen Well
Bbrave


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July 8, ODAT - Listen Well
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Todays reading challenges us to be discerning listeners. Listen to voices at meetings and experiment by focusing more on how they are speaking rather than what they are saying.

 Do we hear compassion, confidence and humility? Or do we hear anger, judgment, self-pity and/or grim determination?

 TODAY'S REMINDER: The way I speak often says more about me than what I say.

 "By listening to more than mere words, I can learn much more than mere words can teach."

---------------

Wow - puzzling at first, this reading challenged me to really think about the voices I hear at meetings as well as the voices I "hear" on this board.

I am not unusually perceptive, but like a child, I do respond with warmth to warmth, with love to love, with enthusiasm to enthusiasm, and with hope to hope.

As a new, often struggling member of Al-Anon, my shares can be more on the grim or freaked-out side. In reflecting on member shares, though, I do notice that I pay attention to calm, patient, encouraging tones and they fill me with confidence. It is that supportive message...the "I have been there and am finding/found serenity" attitude that really compels me.

Do I need to think about my own presentation? I guess, YES, is the answer. I hope humour is mostly okay! I will try to keep my shares honest, but stay calm and true to the mission of "encouraging the families and friends of alcoholics."



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DavidG


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 aww Yes! I think that being able to discern the emotion behind shares- comes along when Our emotions start to clarify.

     You caint listen to a log of wood, with a log of wood. Or, at least, I don't think so. biggrin ...

      Thanks Bbrave. 



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Each Alanon member is my teacher.                                                                                                                  
Maresie888


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Dear Bbrave

Thank you so much for stepping up to be of service to this group.
The idea of sharing at a meeting is to deliver experience strength and hope. Certainly no one is obligated to be
inspirational
However generally there is a secretary/chair at the meeting. That person would ask people to wrap things up
Indeed certain secretaries will even he the one to call in people to share.
Of course we do know that for certain people sharing is imperative
I have to say one of my favorite meetings is a speaker meeting. Then the speaker gets to share for most of the meeti
Indeed at certain al alanon meetings they will never permit any one member to totally dominate the meeting all the time day in day out. They will see such behavior as purely anti social
Maresie



-- Edited by Maresie888 on Thursday 8th of July 2021 06:55:15 AM

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SunnyFrogs


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Good morning.

I haven't really been posting lately and have instead just been "listening".

Unfortunately I have been going through a severe crisis while listening and due to what I've been " hearing" I turned to my HP instead of Alanon.

It has been extremely rough lately but today's reminder sums it up.
"By listening to more than mere words, I can learn much more than mere words can teach." There were no actual spoken words from my HP but I have learned,and am learning so much.

It has taught me,and is teaching me, exactly where I need to turn and reach out to from now on.

Have a good day.











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Daffodils


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Good Morning Bbrave. Thank you for your service/ESH and shares. I find when someone speaks from the heart, I listen. My heart feels the truth . SF, I've missed you terribly and glad HP has placed you in my path along with MIP family. Have a fantastic day.

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Lyne


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Thank you Bbrave for your service and for all above shares. As a retired member from the field of mental health, I "listened" to others for years. But for most, I think it's a difficult task.

When I was new to program, I was in such despair, grief, resentment, and anger, I could not help but let this out in meetings and on the board. And still, once in awhile, my insanity can rear its ugly head. I believe it is good to feel our feelings, but not get stuck there. Let it out and then let it go. I will always be a work in progress, and I try to be very nice to myself as I am to others. :)

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Lyne
PosiesandPuppies


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Thank you Bbrave for your service and thoughts... and to those who have shared.

I am always in awe of how concepts in Al-Anon find a way of coming up just when I need them or could use them the most!

&

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"The wolf that thrives, is the one you feed." - Cherokee legend

"Hello, sun in my face. Hello you who made the morning and spread it over the fields... Watch, now, how I start the day in happiness, in kindness."  Mary Oliver

 

 
Freetime


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Bbrave, thank you for your service. I clearly remember being grim and freaked-out at my first meetings. Thank goodness, the Al-Anon group members understood. I remember seeing their faces, when they were smiling and nodding as I shared. At the time I wasn't sure what that meant. Maybe they thought I was stupid. Now I know it was the smile of understanding. They had been where I was. They understood how much I didn't know yet, but that there was hope for me to know.

To me, listening is very important -- and a good healthy Al-Anon meeting is one of the few places where I believe people can receive the gift of non-judgmental listening. I try hard to listen to the person who is sharing and to not get distracted by my own thoughts. That's not always easy.

Over time I have learned that the words I hear at the closing of meetings -- "although you might not like all of us, you will come to love us in a very special way, the same way we already love you." By listening over time, it has happened to me so many times that someone I thought I didn't like, didn't have anything in common with -- I have learned that person has many gifts to offer, that I can learn positive things from them, that we have had some of the same experiences, and eventually I actually like and respect them. Very humbling!

One of my challenges is that it can take me a while to process what someone has shared, or to process the topic of the meeting, and by the time I have my thoughts clear and organized, the meeting is over! So far, I haven't piped up in the next week's meeting to say I want to share on something I heard last week. Maybe I will find the courage to do that. Certainly MIP is a good place to share on whatever ESH is coming up for me at whatever time. And I have a great sponsor, so I can certainly share with her.

Today I am "stuck" at home because my car is having repairs -- and I will make it a great day. I hope you all do too.



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