The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Today's reading involves the powerful namesake of this daily reader. If we are feeling down, it's a good bet that we are ruminating over past, or forecasting a fearful future.
This is a negative, debilitating thinking pattern that is challenging, but not impossible, to adjust. Alanon can help us use our past pain and events to learn, and then unload them from our mental playlist.
Reminder: Awareness of our past missteps (action or non-action) can be used constructively to compel us toward acting with kindness and more wisdom from now on.
"I pray to be relieved of the compulsion to worry about the past, and that I may not let my pessimism paint black pictures of what may happen tomorrow. Keep in mind that we can live only in the present and that all the rest of life is either past or uncertain." - Unattributed --------------------------------- One day (shift, hour, car ride, minute, second...) at a time is a simple premise that has incredible power...If I am truly in this moment, I am unable to worry, be sad, angry or depressed.
The challenge, however, is to train my thoughts and not yield to the guilty pleasure (there is a temptation to dive in to worry, turn the mind loose and let it run unfettered in the fields of exaggerated speculation...If I'm not being honest I call it 'planning ahead').
Alanon and the 12 Steps provide the guidance I need: Admit my powerlessness, believe/remember that a power greater than myself can restore my sanity, turn my will over to a greater power...I don't have to worry or 'fix' anything, just get out of the way and be fully in this one moment.
Ah Serenity, there you are...
So grateful for the wisdom of Alanon
__________________
Paul
"...when we try to control others, we lose the ability to manage our own lives." - Paths to Recovery
I feel depressed with this Covid stuff, here in France we are on quarantine again. So first I read it and thought 'nah, I have GOOD reasons to be depressed which is different'. Seems that I forgot the basics.
The future is not mine to control nor to predict.
But it will all be ok in the end ... because a greater power is in charge ...
Thank you Paul for your service, and thank you for those who shared.
I am a "planner." I like to have my ducks in a row, in case something negative happens. My sponsor taught me : 1. It is a form of controlling the uncontrollable, and 2. It isn't always a bad trait if you understand and accept #1, and work on staying in the present!
Damp here this morning... but in true CA in April fashion, it won't stay that way! Thinking of you Ileana.... use your pandemic protocols, and trust in your HP!
&
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"The wolf that thrives, is the one you feed." - Cherokee legend
"Hello, sun in my face. Hello you who made the morning and spread it over the fields... Watch, now, how I start the day in happiness, in kindness." Mary Oliver
Phew,yesterday was a rough one for me. I was triggered by something so trivial(well obviously not so trivial in reality) and my PTSD symptoms instantly jumped into high gear. Every single thing from my past came rushing back and that was it, I was in meltdown mode the rest of the day. It was horrible but I am so grateful to not be feeling that way today.
That being said, most of the time(as long as there's not any PTSD symptoms happening) I do pretty good at not allowing myself to get pulled into all the negative anymore. I can keep my mind from dwelling on the past as well as not obsessing about the future. I am getting so much better at focusing on 'the power of now'(that's actually an excellent book if you haven't read it, it's by Eckhart Tolle,along with "practicing the power of now' book too). I am not perfect at it but doing much better with it. Practice practice practice
I am exhausted today. But I am sure others that struggle with PTSD know how draining "episodes" can be. I am going to spend the rest of the day taking it easy and practicing self care.
Happy Tuesday MIP. Thank you Paul for your service and the daily. Thanks to all for your shares & ESH. I consider myself to be a reasonably smart person and yet, when I arrived at Al-Anon, and others suggested One Day at a Time, I truly thought they were bonkers. I've always been a planner - which isn't a bad thing. What made it unhealthy for me, is I planned outcomes also and when the God of my understanding had a different ending than what I projected, I did not handle 'it' well at all.
Al-Anon, especially this slogan, have given to me the gift of the here and now. I can't even begin to imagine how much of my resources - time, energy, emotion, etc. - have been spent in either the past or the future. Way... way... too... much! It is still natural for me to not be 'here/now', so it's an effort, yet one I freely embrace practicing this program.
Today, I can look back and smile or giggle at the me when I first arrived. I was so serious and so overwhelmed by everything disease related and life related. I'd call my sponsor and vent about all things, everything, anything, and she would consistently say to me, IAm, it's 3:55pm on Tuesday afternoon and we're on the phone together all truly all is well. Over and over and over again, her first response to my freaking out was to bring me right back to the here/now. I did not fully understand and probably even eye-rolled many times, yet she was spot on in helping me better get my head over my heart and my feet.
I am grateful for this program, for my recovery, for all of you and the improved relationship with a HP. I got to play golf league with 2 of my Aunts this morning which was lovely. I then left and came home for lunch and then played more golf with my nephew. I went straight from the golf course to get my first vaccine shot. Needless to say, all the planning I did - I didn't think through my clothing so had to strip 3 layers of long sleeves off to get the shot in my arm. I am certain the stranger sitting across from me thought I was crazy, half-dressed at a super-sized vaccine center -- I just laughed - grateful I did not know him or see anyone else that I know.
It's been a full day and that's OK for me - better than not, so I think. Love and light to all, (((hugs))) too.
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Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging. Pause before assuming. Pause before accusing. Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret. ~~~~ Lori Deschene
Dear David
Big Sur is one of those seriously magical places
Esalen is a incredible resource
Many of my meditation teachers teach there
I felt incredibly relaxed and at the home in Big Sur. Nevertheless the qualifier managed to ruin that holiday. He had a soecial way of doing that .
Glad to applaud your reference point
Maresie
I have always had plenty of reason to worry. Mis steps are a way of life for me. I am trying to correct one of my misteps. It is very time consuming. Some relief arrives in a week when I will be taking time off. However some hills arrived so I have to regroup
Paying Bill's is a big priority for ne. So is avoiding chaos. Mis steps are s fact of life I.keep reminding myself
Bit this mis step brought even more fatigue to my already really stretched cause
Unfortunately my schedule is such that I do not get time off. I am back to two jobs again in.fact I have three
Next week I will have sone time off but Inhave so much to do it is really hard
I hope sometime this will all let up. I am waiting on some more funds that will arrive next month
Being an essential worker had been incredibly difficult
In theory things will be returning to normal in Jibe but who.kniws. I have worked the whole time through moving out from my aoartment from moving back. Through many many jobs. I have charger jobs st least 4 times. Talk about gruelling
Two days at Big Sur would really help. No.chsbce of that
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Thanks...