The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
The reading for Monday, 3/29, talks about being nicer to ourselves. The damaged self-esteem and the message that we are not good enough, comes from living with alcoholism. The writer recognized that these voices could be silenced! Alanon reminds us that we are lovable and can learn to love ourselves. When we hear that message, and the other wonderful sounds of life, the abusive thoughts vanish.
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From having abuse from an older brother, then being in the arts, and finally having two marriages to alcoholics, I was primed from birth to abuse myself. And let me tell you, that has been no easy feat to stop. Its taken several therapists and my participation in program to quiet those voices most of the time. Once in a great while, the needle gets stuck in the record (some of you are too young to have heard a record skipping), but it goes over and over the same spot. So we can get stuck on a negative aspect of ourself or a behavior we wish we hadnt done, and just ruin a perfectly good day with our thoughts. By using the steps, slogans, program people, and all our other tools, it is possible and wonderful, to stop thinking poorly of ourselves.
Happy Monday MIP. The sun is shining here and we're going to have a warm, windy day. Thank you Lyne for your service and the daily. Thank you both for your ESH/shares. When I arrived, I was extremely critical - of myself, of others, of the day, of my to-do list, etc. I was just stuck in a perpetual negative rut and didn't even know it most of the time.
I struggled with the concept of putting me first and taking good care of myself. This seemed contrary to what I felt and thought about being a good daughter, friend, mother, wife, employee, etc. Perpetual self-criticism for years combined with wanting to be 'perfect' and wanting things to be 'perfect' just created a 'me' that struggled to adapt and change.
I love today's reminder - 'Treating myself with kindness and respect helps me to challenge my own self-criticism. Today I will pay particular attention to any voice that speaks lovingly.' Truly for me, this simple reminder says it all - I am able to minimize that self-criticism by treating myself lovingly. I am one who does some mantras - one of which is I am loved, I am loving, I am lovable and I matter.
My sponsor suggested to me early on that whenever I began to focus on what all was broken in my life that I try to flip it upside down and focus on what's improved or what's good. This also helps me cope when I am faced with a bit of chaos/drama - disease related or not. I love our program - it truly works for me when I work it.
Make it a great day all - find and keep your joy!
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Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging. Pause before assuming. Pause before accusing. Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret. ~~~~ Lori Deschene
Good Day Everyone. Finally mustered energy to get into the solution. Yes Lyne, I know what a skipping record is (laugh) and your description articulated my feelings well. As always, Debb and Iamhere, your ESH provide needed support. I was headed down a depressive road. AH is all excited about his supports and I feel cast aside. I am rendered speechless when he shares all these great ideas like it's news to me! I am grateful his HP has placed the right people in his path. I can't believe we'll be celebrating seven years together and we are just now embarking on changes that are six years overdue. Anyways, I am glad I am willing to work to give myself a chance. To be honest, my enthusiasm for self care is seriously lacking compared to when I am busy meddling in other people's needs (AH or not). On a brighter note, salons will be open April 12th (we've been shutdown since November 23rd). I have already booked my appointment. (smile) Also got my orthotics and upgraded athletic shoes so I can go for longer walks until gyms reopen. As I write, my mood is picking up. Funny how that works. Thanks for listening . May your day be filled with blessings.
I had to laugh at the skipping record too,I remember those days.
I have days where I do berate myself still but not very often anymore. I am learning that my worth doesn't depend on what anyone else thinks or says about me.
I am feeling much better from my Covid vaccine. I'm not sure if it was all side effects or partly from the fear I had from getting it. The mind is a powerful thing and we all need to be careful what we feed it. It will believe whatever we tell it . i can tell myself bad things or good things,either way it will believe it. So I'm trying to stick with the good.
Thank you so much for your share. The great news about recovery is that podcasts and you tube videos give some of us such assistance. For years I went to seminars and meetings. For years I put large sums into books. In fact I still have a great affinity for books. I recently had 16 books out from the library all recovery related
The recent work I have been able to do on grief has been very instructive. For over 6 weeks I was in a group with other suicide survivors. I gained a great deal from that experience. After that I did a course on grief in particular now to find.meaning from grief. That was immensely helpful
In addition to all that I have a therapist who is really heloful
