The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Hope you all are OK...I am working through a lot of stuff, I had some really tough health issues with stored pain causing back spasms so I got into physical therapy with the help of a trainer and my own research and my back is responding
Add to that reading some GREAT books sent to me by a recovery mate whom I treasure and journalling and just self talk, practicing loving behavior to me and little by little I am releasing the stored pain as my back is better, responding to the therapy and the CPTSD is not worse and I think it has improved some
add to that friends having to go to nursing homes because their bipolar and health issues are such that they can no longer care for themselves and of course trying to build my business back up with Covid nearly wiping me out
Its been a craaaaazy year now...it all started in about Mar 2020 and its still going, but I do see daylight, I do see progress in me , in that I am , the BIG thing is learning to LET GO---LET GOD!!!! and KEEP doing that, practice...
Recognizing and allowing/accepting and investigating and then nurturing myself every time an emotion/feeling comes up...Feel it....accept it...give it love and non-resistance no matter what...don't judge it, just BE with it and then I can release it..self talk helps the process
I had a lot of questions about "what am I even doing here?? what is my purpose???" like I was thinking I am just using up oxygen and space, like no purpose, but again...I had to LET GO----LET GOD....He must have a meaning for my life somewhere, so while I am in the hallway, make the best of it and find and give what joy/sunshine I can and trust that the universe has use for me, otherwise I would be on the happy side
I think of you all often and send you love and light energy and may 2021 start turning around for us...Its been trying...they say crisis brings out the best and worst in people...when we had that horrid storm, I and my neighbors all stepped up and we helped each other as a team..my next door neighbor shared his generator iwth me and i helped him change the oil, helped supply gasoline and we all just helped one another...it was lovely
I am back to journalling and more praying, communicating with my God and life seems to be less resistent because I back off...Like IAH says "pause and pray" oh yea, I am finally realizing that non resistance and letting go is not defeat, but just not feeding the negative and clearing out the debris so my HP can work through me w/out the sludge of resistance blocking him from working through me
I am still on unemployment, a YEAR now..never had it this long, but grateful that I have the help as business is very very sparse of late..Not going to worry...when the fear creeps in, I pause and pray and do my self talk, challenging the negative critical parent, telling her to PROVE to me that this or that will/will not happen....
working my steps and slogans , daily and I am working though a lot of stuff with these books my friend gave to me...
I am learning to pace myself better as I am getting "up there" a bit..into my 7th decade now, so its time for me to pace myself...easy does it....One day/task at a time and EASY does it...
I fixed up my house quite a bit...even cut back that big ole tree out front...little by little as work is so slow, I am doing "spruce up" stuff to my house...Making a day out of it whether I am working or not...
anyway, just wanted to stop in and say hello and tho I am not on much, I think of you all and how much help and support I've gotten here and NEVER will you EVER get rid of me, LOL...
I've sort of changed my "how much computer/screen time" i am doing as I notice that I get "foggy" if doing too much, so I am slowing down, quality over quantity mentality so I don't get "screen fog" from too much computer and not enough face to face interaction with people...
(((((((((((Debbie))))))))))))) great to see ya, mate!!! So hows life treating you??? LOVE your picture what is that flower?? so lovely and serene, like how ya feel when working the Al-anon tools...I missed you all...and yea, I am goin with the flow and riding with the tide only because I am willing to see that I need my program and my HP..Can't do life without HP and program...Tried that and failed...Funny!!! the more I accept my powerlessness over the things that I just cannot "fix" right now or "change" right now, I let them go, step back, after i've done all I can, Let go, Let God, Poof!!! problem either disolves or solves....someone said to me one time, "the more I accept my powerlessness over the things I cannot change, the more power I end up with" Most likely its because I am stayin in my own lane and letting HP deal with the rest..............Thanlks for stopping by
Debbie I am glad you are doing OK That lotus is so pretty. And so serene looking. And I love what you put on your signature that is just way too cool. I missed you guys a lot. Im gonna be working I finally got a project to do gosh do I remember how to do it? LOL work has been really crazy slow with this Covid but you know HP is taken care of me I just turn it all over and he make sure that I have my needs met Im even fixing up my house with this unemployment thank God that we got it extended through September because I service as a Certified public bookkeeper the small businesses Im an advocate for the small businesses and they got hit the hardest with the Covid and I just give it over to God and let go and Ive been OK. Ill tell you I dont know what I would do without my program and this community
Hey Debbie...you know, I am stashing my UI bennies, doing a bit on the side, still, not totally dried up by nearly, and I am , really, not sure what I want to do moving forward...i mean SS is not enough, but with Svgs at My age?? I could, when UI ends , "float" for a year, even two till I decide what to do..I'm in my 7th decade now and I've managed to be OK..so why not trust till the end?? To be honest, I am tired of this boring work, its good money, but I hate it...turning it over to God for a "happy" means of support, some kind of service, perhaps...But I know I'll be ok, no matter what......and yea, I am glad you got out of your job B4 the proverbial dung hit the fan....So great chatting with you....I missed this place, and I do plan to stop in more....
Good to see you Rose - hope all continues to improve for you, your health, etc. Keep coming back!!
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Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging. Pause before assuming. Pause before accusing. Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret. ~~~~ Lori Deschene
Hey IAH..Good to see YOU as well...I missed you all..Been busy fixing up the house since no work, hows the golf going?? How are your folks doing??? My beloved cousin got Covid and her Doc. treated her with Ivermectin and POOF, sickness gone!!! I prayed like never B4 as she is my bestie...I've decided to go back to journaling!! they say if you stick with it, you can get rid of lots of old feelings......
All is well in my small part of the world Rose. Golf continues to baffle me daily or frequently...it's such a challenging game for me! My parents are doing good - both are vaccinated (grateful) and healthy as can be for their ages/stages. Thanks for asking - it's 'all good' here!
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Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging. Pause before assuming. Pause before accusing. Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret. ~~~~ Lori Deschene
Hey IAH. Thats good to hear about the parents, golf I wouldnt know which end of the club to use LOL I havent played tennis in ages and Im thinking about getting back into practice in the meantime working out on my exercise balls and resistance bands and swimming laps Doing the physiotherapy that is really helping my back, Im grateful God has got me covered
