The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Todays page focuses on the concept of letting go. The writer compares his/her own struggle with opening up to the flowers in a bouquet- some of the buds remained closed, others were open with bloom on display. The writer notes that he/she often used restraint out of fear that others would misunderstand and criticize him/her. The thought for the day asks us: are we hiding a part of ourselves? What beauty can we release/embrace today?
When I saw the phrase letting go I figured it was in the context of being able to get past old thoughts, hurts, behaviors etc. I struggle with this part of our program all the time. I have found myself recalling a situation that happened years before and then will recognize I am feeling the same anger or resentment I felt then! One thing that helps me in that case is to find one positive outcome from something that has caused pain- even if it is the realization: I am no longer in this situation. Recently I was brought back into the chaos of alcoholism and found that it took some work not to react and become entrenched as I once did. The words that helped me in that moment were: this is not yours to fix
The letting go as described in todays reading resonates with me as well. I know that my default is to be pretty reserved with emotions and my responses to people, especially those I dont know very well; like the writer I am sure this is a defense out of fear that someone wont understand me. I have learned that the stronger and more confident I feel the more I am able to take chances and let go as the writer has described. I love the imagery of a bouquet- some flowers are open and brilliantly on display, some buds are closed and holding the potential for the beauty of the blossom inside.
for me this reading had shades of Step 10, with a touch of 11. At my back door i have a rose growing up the wall. It has grown and changed over time... ...because of it's location I notice it a lot... and when the blooms die I dead head them. This promotes more growth, of course.
I have old thoughts and memories arising these days- much more healthy that past years. New insights from time to time. I don't have to tell the whole world. But, at the same time I am more connected to other people. If something crops up in conversation there is something there to share.
I am thinking that I should consider feeding the rose a bit more. In the spring sports groups around here sell manure on the side of the road- as fund-raisers. And i should consider treating the rose next spring.
Thank you Mary for your service and share, and to Debb and David for their shares as well!
I love the visual of the bouquet...I am keeping this in my memory stores!!
Woke with an awful sinus headache/issue... time for some self-care today!
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"The wolf that thrives, is the one you feed." - Cherokee legend
"Hello, sun in my face. Hello you who made the morning and spread it over the fields... Watch, now, how I start the day in happiness, in kindness." Mary Oliver
Thank you Mary for your service and the daily. Thank you all for your shares & ESH. I am reminded - esp. since it's winter here and everything is dormant/brown outside - how much I truly embrace & enjoy springtime. It just puts a pep in my step, energizes my heart & mind and reminds me that everything truly does pass and there is always an opportunity for renewal.
I am one who used to hold on to my ideas, my values, my way with a tight, fingernail entrenched grip. Letting go for me can be so very, very hard as I forget, as a human, that letting go is not for anyone but me. Each time I truly let go and trust my HP and my program progress, I find a different level of freedom. It's so easy for me to forget this in the moment - which is why I am so much better served by practicing this program each & every day.
I have expanded my morning routine to include more exercise, prayer & meditation. It just felt like I needed to do so, and have switched up some parts of my daily routine. It's been easy to slack a bit in many areas when I know I am not going anywhere - still socially distancing & staying home. So, making small changes to what I do, when I do it and how I do it has renewed some aspects of my routine, including my program and I've chosen to find gratitude each morning before I finish my cup of coffee! It's a personal challenge yet it makes for better days for me.
I am grateful for MIP and all of you. I'm grateful my football team has won and is moving forward. I am grateful that recovery has given me the gift of choice, one day at a time, and that I choose gratitude and joy most days! Love and light all - (((hugs))) too!
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Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging. Pause before assuming. Pause before accusing. Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret. ~~~~ Lori Deschene