The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
In today's reading, the author's POV is that of a teenager. A teen who is participating in Alateen. Just b/c the author is a teen, doesn't mean good learning could not be had. So I will do my best to interpret.
The author speaks to having a deep mistrust of adults. That is because he/she felt that all adults were sure to have the same sick attitudes of their alcoholic parents. In time, the author came to realize that THEY were the one with the "sick attitude." They had closed their mind not only to their parents, but all adults. They stumbled through their meetings, as they brought this attitude there as well... they found that they had to work on their own resentments before their mind was open to all the wonderful things the Al-Anon programs bring. I think we all have experienced this "closed mindedness" at one time or another.
Today's Reminder: Al-Anon helps me to see things as they are. The people in my life aren't the way I sometimes think they should be. With Al-Anon's help I can love them for who they are, instead of who I think they should be.
I can attest to the fact that I am deeply mistrustful. I am so sure that the next person I meet will let me down as well. My journey through Al-Anon has helped with this . I am slowly healing and learning to rely on the trust I put in others now.
I strive to be open to all possibilities, even ones that I may be uncomfortable with.
Busy weekend having to get my car worked on & decorating for the holidays. TBH, I don't feel much like decorating (as we will be having no family over), but I can see how much my son needs this during this time of pandemic...when I am finished, it will probably lift my spirits as well!
Stay healthy and strong, MIP Family!
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"The wolf that thrives, is the one you feed." - Cherokee legend
"Hello, sun in my face. Hello you who made the morning and spread it over the fields... Watch, now, how I start the day in happiness, in kindness." Mary Oliver
PosiesandPuppies thank you so much for your C2C ESH and service to MIP. Hope that your holiday decorating does lift your spirits!! I did a small
amount of decorating and planned a small but special dinner for Christmas. The usually visiting will be tabled this year, like everyone else has to as well.
Mistrust was an issue for me as well, Al Anon helped me develop a stronger coping mechanism to deal with disappointment in the form of reigning in
my expectations. When I do not hold high expectations then I am better able to check disappointments and maintain a level of peace.
Happy Holidays {{HUGS}}
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"Forgiveness doesn't excuse bad behavior, but does prevent bad behavior from destroying your heart" ~ Unknown
Thank you PnP for your service and the daily....Thanks to both for your shares & ESH. I arrived with tons of trust issues. I can't say that all came about because of childhood - as one with this disease, I was a shady character and thus attracted shady characters. Trust was foreign in the groups I hung with and I certainly was not very trustworthy either!
What I have come to embrace is that when I hold back - with people, places or things - because of fear of hurt, rejection or worse, I am truly limiting my own growth and life experiences. I am reminded of that song, "I Beg Your Pardon, I Never Promised You a Rose Garden..." simply because there is not now nor will there every be a life that doesn't have thorny experiences. It took me tons of time and practice to get to a point where I embrace all people with trust, and have them prove me wrong vs. the opposite - which is how I used to be.
I can seek to understand always. I can't directly relate to having parents be the cause of mistrust but can empathize with another raised in this disease. In my family home, it was 'indirect' in that both my parents had alcoholic fathers. So, there was still disease affects simply because they were both untreated ACoA(s). More is still being revealed on how this affected me and yet, I do feel that with this program and our tools, I can still flourish if I choose to.
I stopped decorating for holidays when my guys opted out of helping. I found it to be 'work' vs. 'fun' when I had to do the majority by myself. We are not gathering for Christmas this year, and I'm perfectly good with that. As tired as I and all are, I prefer to be a part of the solution vs. part of the problem...this virus and the unknowns gives me cause for pause and I am constantly reminded how good we have it compared to those in the 1918 pandemic/flu. We have TV, Cable, Video, Phones, etc. - they had nodda....my motto - if they could do 'it' without, I certainly can do 'it' with all the modern pleasures we have!
Happy, happy Saturday all! Make it a grand day!!
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Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging. Pause before assuming. Pause before accusing. Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret. ~~~~ Lori Deschene
The decorating was not as productive as I would've wanted, but there is till today (Sunday) to finish up. In my little place, since my son's bedroom is the living room, we do not have room for a tree. In the past 2 years, we couldn't afford any kind of tree, fake or otherwise anyway. This year, despite all the trials and tribulations, my job is essential, so I have had no decrease in pay due to lost hours of work - Grateful I am, beyond measure! So we bought the cheapest, Charlie Brown-iest tree we could. It still doesn't fit in the cottage, but we chose to put it outside in the covered patio that is shared between my parents and myself. In this way, my parents can sit in their porch chairs and enjoy the pine smell of the tree. I forgot to mention that since my mother has lost almost all sight now, she can no longer decorate like she used to (even last year), and without family coming over, she is feeling pretty depressed. So when I suggested the tree placement to my son, I said "It can be a loving gesture to Gma & Gpa." He agreed wholeheartedly!!
So THAT, made me feel all the warm feels of the season to be honest!
Iamhere - I really like when you say, "I prefer to be part of the solution vs, part of the problem." I used to get very angry and bent out of shape about other people's actions when it came to this pandemic. I believe I have allowed it to steal my serenity this year. Since I began reading this statement from you, I have decided that this will be my philosophy as well! Well, I guess I have always done my best to be "part of the solution," but now I am letting go of other's behaviors, and just do my very diligent protocols. I have been more at peace b/c of it! It's funny that you have spoken about the 1918 pandemic, b/c I have done quite a bit of research about it as well!! I just felt I needed to know more way back in March of this year. Not only to perhaps guide myself, but also to allay all the catastrophizing, and pearl-clutching that I have been reading about. I mean, we truly have so many advances that can make this period in history so easy compared to 1918!!! So when I catch myself feeling depressed b/c I am missing something, I too, remind myself of those strong early Americans!
I just learned today that 2 people I know (but do not have contact with) are suffering through Covid-19. My prayers of health are with them.
Stay safe, stay healthy MIP Fam!!
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"The wolf that thrives, is the one you feed." - Cherokee legend
"Hello, sun in my face. Hello you who made the morning and spread it over the fields... Watch, now, how I start the day in happiness, in kindness." Mary Oliver
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