The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Today's reading is so amazing that I am going to put the quotation first:
"When it gets dark enough, you can see the stars." -- Charles A. Beard (American historian)
Today's author says "I am a survivor" -- having survived many troubles, and come out as a human being with dignity, a wealth of experience to share with others, and fearlessness about any future challenges that may come. The author feels capable -- with their strength, knowledge, and higher power -- to face anything life brings, as a stronger person because of what they have been through.
The reminder is that I can regard everything that happens in life as a gift from which I can learn and grow, that I can find something positive hidden in a difficult situation and be surprised by how much a little gratitude can help.
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I too feel like a survivor. I remember coming out of the experience of living with an alcoholic loved one until the end of their life -- and feeling that nothing can scare me now. I challenged life: throw anything you want at me, you can't hurt me now.
In all honesty I think some of that was just numbness, but some of it was also strength from having gone through the fire, through the darkness -- and not going through it alone. When I was at the bottom of a deep hole, and called out, there came my higher powers -- Al-Anon people and other friends -- with flashlights and ladders to show me the way out. As I walk through the landscape today, there are big and little holes that I may trip on and even fall into, but I travel with the flashlight of hope and the ladder of gratitude (and the phone numbers of some really wise people) so that i know there is always a way up and out.
I also like the reminder of finding the positive in a difficult situation. Certainly COVID has brought difficulties -- but it also brought Zoom meetings so I can gather with people around the world, it brought my learning of new habits like how to get groceries delivered, it brought me time saved from going out and about to have more time to be conscious of what is in my own backyard, and thus to have more contact with my higher power.
MIP friends, have you found something positive in a difficult situation?
Thank you FT for your service and share. I relate to being a survivor from my raging brother, marriage to alcoholics, a variety of serious health issues, and currently grieving the loss of my dog. Yes I do learn things and become stronger but sometimes Im just sick and tired of having to cope with painful things. I accept this is life though, life on lifes terms, not mine.
I will remember looking for the flashlight when Im needing help, and this can be people, HP, etc. :)
Happy Friday MIP. I am still full from yesterday, however, that has not kept me from some additional festive eating today! I will tell on myself - I had green bean casserole for breakfast and pecan pie for lunch. Now that I've got that out of the way, I do believe that 'survivor' adequately describes anyone who's made it to the other side of trauma, horror, etc.
As I reflect, when in the middle of all the chaos, insanity, pain and trauma this disease brought, I often felt like I was swimming against a current. It was hard, almost impossible, very hard, impossible to get out to go around, etc. However, by the grace of a power greater than I, I had to courage or will-power - not sure which - to keep fighting. At that time, it never occurred to me to do any different - seek help, surrender, give up, etc.
I tend to believe I had to go through all that I've gone through to get to where I am today. My life has had some absolutely horrid moments, and some wickedly blessed moments. When the darker moments rise up in my mind/heart, I try really hard to instead focus on the blessings instead because I do believe that's where the magic or miracles truly are.
I try to always find the positive in the trials of my life. My road trip earlier this year to care for my parents was certainly an unexpected, frightening event. With all that's unknown with this virus, I did not know what I would find, if they would survive, etc. Each night, as I was unable to sleep while listening to my dad try to breathe, I spent tons of time with my HP. When I came back home, after both were on the mend, I truly expected to have to return and was willing to be of service as needed. What I now realize -- I can continue to socially isolate, keep distant, wear a mask, etc. with ease as I've seen what 'this virus' is like, and I have no interest in putting myself or those I love in harm's way.
I have friends and family who are growing tired of the constraints suggested as am I. Yet, I figure, doing all 'this' is a cakewalk compared to fighting the virus or struggling for each breath. I am so grateful to have a program during this time - managing my actions and choices during this pandemic is so much easier when I am able to practice selflessness vs. selfishness. It took many years for me to realize it's not 'all about me' and I can be part of the solution or part of the problem!
Hugs all - off to drop some mail at the post office and get my car washed. Hope you're having an awesome Friday....(((Hugs)))
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Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging. Pause before assuming. Pause before accusing. Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret. ~~~~ Lori Deschene
Thanks for your service Freetime. I just got in from a drive with the kids around the island. That takes 45 minutes if you go slow I was struck with gratitude for the first time that my kids are here during covid. Because they are getting to see and be and feel the island as it was/is before tourism started to morph it into something abused frankly. When we first arrived, we'd hit five planes arriving per day. Every night of the week you'd hear what I call the "kehua maki bus": a party bus with strobe lights, awful music and revolving drunk people. Today's Friday and there were two places open. Usually on Friday every single hotel, bar, restaurant would be open. That would have been normal to my kids and so I was struck with gratitude that now they have a new normal which is actually an old one. I actually hope it takes ages for tourism to recover and we never go back to cheap flights. I feel like as everything got easy, travel, shopping, eating out.....appreciation went out the window. No longer were we in the moment but looking for the next hit of amusement. So I'm glad for covid forcing a slow down. I pledge to spend our holidays going for walks and swimming at the beach, packing lunches. At the same time as I see and hear of people struggling, I'm aware that my HP is provident and I am in general grateful for my many blessings.
I was struck with gratitude for the first time that my kids are here during covid. Because they are getting to see and be and feel the island as it was/is before tourism started to morph it into something abused frankly. When we first arrived, we'd hit five planes arriving per day. Every night of the week you'd hear what I call the "kehua maki bus": a party bus with strobe lights, awful music and revolving drunk people. Today's Friday and there were two places open. Usually on Friday every single hotel, bar, restaurant would be open. That would have been normal to my kids and so I was struck with gratitude that now they have a new normal which is actually an old one. I actually hope it takes ages for tourism to recover and we never go back to cheap flights. I feel like as everything got easy, travel, shopping, eating out.....appreciation went out the window. No longer were we in the moment but looking for the next hit of amusement. So I'm glad for covid forcing a slow down. I pledge to spend our holidays going for walks and swimming at the beach, packing lunches. At the same time as I see and hear of people struggling, I'm aware that my HP is provident and I am in general grateful for my many blessings.