Below is a share I pinned up on the business board in March.

In march I was going through a really rough time. It seemed to me to be life threatening.

Threatening my identity, in effect.

Looking back on it it was by me and for me. 

But I was able to lean this MIP Alanon group heavily.

And having gained some support, and gotten my two feet somewhere near the ground. I was able to back up and start to develop the discipline I needed.

This is not some back country group where people rock up in gumboots and shepherds smocks.

But if someone did I am sure they would be welcomed!  

For me this group is more like a well-rounded inner city group- that may have visitors at every meeting- and newcomers coming through regularly.

Former members coming back too- to a rich vibrant group.

One day at a time.

Always- never entirely taken for granted.

If the members of a group can demonstrate some healthy living- against all adversity-

then we have something priceless on our hands.

yes. 

Thanks for my time to reflect.

In AoNZ we have no thanksgiving- so Christmas is our big day.

The parties and wind-up begin about now... something- to be honest that I used to dread.

Where is the honest talk, the laughter and the joy!

Some of us have waited a lifetime for this! 

Some of us must be still hoping.

having pinned this March posting up- I want to read it some- and plan to move forward into a new year.

Thanks. ...

[written on our business board in mid March]

Hi y'all...

                ... I would like to start a conversation- that might take place over 12 months or so. About having healthy groups, and our groups being a safe space/place for all members.

Tradition 10.

The Alanon Family Groups have no opinion on outside issues; hence our name ought never be drawn into public controversy.

This policy, in my view, applies to our groups, as a whole. Individual members are allowed to have personal opinions.

In our FOO's we were often hushed and shamed into silence. It takes time- many years sometimes- to move away from this and find balance.

Personally, I believe that our personal opinions are just as important as our emotions. And yes- we do have to create boundaries around this- little by little.

Achieving a group conscience is essential- and this takes time and patience.

FEAR was described to me as "False Evidence Appearing Real". My thinking, in the first years was built around this... because my communication skills were limited. But meetings gave me regular reality checks- one of the beauties of being a regular attender.

TEAR is an akronym, which I recently coined. True Evidence Appearing Real.

Over time, as our kitten eyes begin to open... ...this does become a reality.

I went through childhood with drinking all around- and i had my impressions of what was going on. And what adults described to us as real.

So I am really familiar with fears and tears.

As we learn to trust and to bond as a group- this becomes a safe place to be in. even, sometimes, before we pluck up the courage to share.

We have ethics. We practise ethics. We have members who are in extremely fragile situations.

Within this, we need to be relaxed and in the moment- as far as it is possible. Us older members need to be good examples of what Alanon can achieve.

I am reviewing my recovery years- and taking the best of what worked well.

Like a lot of us, I sense I am looking carefully and learning from Betty's example. And have a will to see the group carry that on, in her honour.  ...

cheers,

David.