The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Todays reading is about how for some of us the holidays can be a difficult time. The writer describes how the holidays were always connected to the depression of his/her father, during childhood and in adult life as well. The writer describes the difference in adult life and after program work of understanding the choice of letting go of things beyond his/her control. The writer began new traditions, reclaiming the holidays so that they were no longer associated with the sadness from childhood.
Many of us can relate to the sadness that is connected with the holiday season. We are told that it should be the happiest time of year, the best time of year, full of joy etc. This particular season we have an added stress in that many of us will not be able to gather with the people we normally would see. I appreciate the writers decision to make some new traditions in order to make the celebrations his/her own. We all have been making and maintaining connections with people this last year in new ways. My plan for the holidays is to continue in that way. I am not physically going anywhere, but can share some time with my family in phone and video calls. This unique season can be documented so that someday when its described to future generations there might be some understanding of this time.
Like so many circumstances, the serenity prayer is a gentle reminder that we can ask for help in accepting what we cant change, work to change what we are able, and pray for the vision to see the difference.
Thank you Mary for your service and the daily! I can now see the kitty cat in your avatar - pretty, pretty kitty! Thank you both for your shares and ESH. Holidays were stressful as a child yet fun too. The 'lead-up', planning, preparation was beyond crazy as my mother wanted everything (and everyone) perfect. It never was perfect but it was just fine and I've always enjoyed gathering with my extended family and we do so for T-Giving, Christmas & Easter.
As I grew up, I unintentionally brought forth some of those isms...I worked so hard to make the holidays so special for my kids and others that it took away my joy and was exhausting. I've got a much different approach today, thanks to recovery. I don't even bother to put out Christmas stuff at my home as we don't gather here. My kids do their own thing Christmas Eve, and we gather with the larger group on Christmas day.
I no longer stress about it - I purchase gifts that I pick out for the little people only. All of the adults have agreed to stop exchanging and that made it so much easier! I will cook for days and I'm good with that - cooking relaxes me and I enjoy it. As with many things, I truly try to keep things super simple.
This year will be different. We have the pandemic so are not gathering for Thanksgiving. Christmas is on hold so far as well and will be the first holiday after losing the first of our generation, my cousin who died 12/23 of last year. I was trying to decide if I really even like this 'holiday season' time of the year, and decided earlier today that it's super stressful when all is well - it's more so this year.
So - if I remember to do what's been suggested, just live in the present, one day at a time, I'll be good and all will be well. It's when I trudge up the past or project to the future that I get off-balance. I prefer the present - just more peaceful and serene! Happy Sunday to all - hope your day has been awesome!!
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Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging. Pause before assuming. Pause before accusing. Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret. ~~~~ Lori Deschene
your share resonated with me; when I reflect on my early marriage and when my kids were very little, I know that I attempted to make perfect holidays and occasions because i had some perception that I missed some of that
it took me a long while to recognize isms within myself and how they impacted my life! As always grateful for the program and to share the journey:)
Mary
PS bella the cat says thank you for the compliments
(((Bella))) and (((Mary))) - I just love how relaxed and chill Bella is! She's got great color and markings!
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Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging. Pause before assuming. Pause before accusing. Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret. ~~~~ Lori Deschene
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