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does anyone ever get the feeling in their stomach when crisis hits? that rush,it makes me shake and feel sick. but still i think i might be addicted to it. my a husband moved in with his mother last week. i found out friday. i was so mad. i lost all my peace. but i asked him for money i knew he got paid friday. just to deposit some in the account so the kids can eat. literally, we have no money at all at the moment. ofcourse he is supposedly going into rehab today so i'm sure his brothers and sisters talked him into partying all weekend. he hasn'nt seen his kids in 2 months and has only given me 300 in the past 2 months. i really hate to get tied up in the money thing i really do. i know i can't expect anything from him and what i need to do is take care of myself and my kids. but that second job isn't materalizing and i need money. unfourtunatly we all do to survive.i don't know what to do but that feeling is right here. i'm mad and shakey and contemplating trying to find his mother's number and calling there. but that makes the feeling more intense and i try to use this feeling to judge whether or not i'm doing my will or god's. when i'm following god's will i do feel peace or at least not the feeling. when i start taking over i believe the feeling is intense. but i need money. but then again what would calling get me? if it's gone then nothing. he knows i need money. i don't need to remind him. but i'm mad. i am a master at justifying my behavior, and those around me. ok at the very least i don't know what to do so i will wait. wait for my real prince charming to show up at the door with a gallon of milk!lol!
Yes I had that sick to my stomach feeling yesterday when I had to call the cops on my brother due to violating his restraining order. Fortunately I dont have that feeling as much as I did 20yrs ago.
That "feeling", you bet! For years... and years...
For me that feeling is not really my HP telling me to do something else. It is guilt.
- guilt for not doing what I know I should do
- guilt over doing what I should do even though the A is against it
- guilt over having to take extreme measures or asking for help
Did I mention guilt?
I know that at our church there is food for those who need it. No paperwork, no proof, just show up and say you need it and you get it. Everyone wants to be strong and do for themselves, but sometimes doing for yourself means asking for help. I have a really hard time with that.
Take care of you and those kiddo's!
You guys are in my prayers
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"Good judgement comes from experience... experience comes from bad judgement" - unknown
Hello, serendipity, What I get from your post is that you are really connecting with your feelings. You are going through a really tough time, but now you get it. Our thoughts and prayers are with you. Blessings, mebjk
Gawd so I know that feeling in the gut. It's aweful. Had it this weekend.
It sounds like you are really focusing on yourself in many ways to see why you feel the way you do.
If you feel that your not going to get anything from the A, you can ask w/o expectations. the 2nd job not coming thru is a bummer but HP had a better idea I guess. Also, think outside of the box. I know some have found assistance at Food Pantries, local churches. I've also found assistance w/ my electric bill and with Cub Scout camp.
Bob
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You are a perfect child of God and God and I love you just the way you are! (added by me...in that special alanon way)
The feeling, You mean it goes away sometimes? Seriously, I feel like I have lost 10 pounds this week. Eating does not sound good to me at all, and I'm just making myself drink Ensure because I know I need the nutrients. If this is my HP trying to tell me something, than I am getting quite a lecture, and I don't understand it yet. I do know how you feel, and I hope it gets better for both of us!
Good luck!!! I am sorry about the "feeling"--I get it too--I guess we all do. I think rtexas has a good idea, it doesn't even have to be your church many churches have food banks! I hope you can find the help you need! I know asking for it stinks, but maybe that is one of HP's plans. Take care of you and your kids!
Sometimes i get this ~ odd sick feeling, ( anxiety? ) I believe its this. SO.... when it does begin to happen.... i tell myself that its a good thing, because it means Im beginning to feel something. Before, I felt nothing at all. And most of all, a good thing, is that it's inevitable that change occurs. When things are uneasy or unsure in the house.. that odd/sick feeling is there too. I , with the help of this program and many wonderful supportive members., have begun to remember that I CAN LOOK UP~ I CAN Let it Go. I CAN turn and tend to my chores or go pick up a book. ** My Alanon Books. or a Novel that I' currently enjoying...
I was beginning to accept that change is what needed to occur. Once I was able to allow myself to accept that change is happening for the better...... I t was easier to begin to apply what I have learned with Alanon. (these kinds of situations...for me.... like feeling unsure, anxious, frustrated, full of rage, or full of confusion...is when it's most important for me (i tell myself) to apply the tools of the 12steps by putting them into my actions......)
You and your kids will be in a better place. Yes, it takes courage. AND ~ You ARE doing Great!!!
When I begin to feel this...feeling. I have some favorite slogans .... so in my head, i say slogans. Same with the serenity prayer. I take a hot bath and listen to some classical music... let everything Go.... Give it to HP/God. I KNOW He will take it from me, I just have to Let It Go.
Slogans; "Lighten up," "Let Go and Let God.," GOD= GOOD ORDERLY DIRECTION. "Keep Looking Up." " Keep moving f o r w a r d. " (o ya., one Tea2 helped me to see and add to my list of favs is to ask myself..."How Important Is It?" Is it Worth my Serenity Today? The classical music helps at a different level. leads me and my mind to a calm ... will help your thoughts to clear. and you will begin to feel better. I have it playing in the background in all the rooms I spend time in... its on all the time. i have it playing low thru the night as well...(it is on real low...) almost to where it can not be heard... but its there. my mind can hear it. i have to admit that overall i feel and have felt better and better.... each day. ((STAY STRONG))
when it does begin to happen.... i tell myself that its a good thing, because it means Im beginning to feel something. Before, I felt nothing at all. And most of all, a good thing, is that it's inevitable that change occurs. When things are uneasy or unsure in the house.. that odd/sick feeling is there too. I , with the help of this program and many wonderful supportive members., have begun to remember that I CAN LOOK UP~ I CAN Let it Go. I CAN turn and tend to my chores or go pick up a book. ** My Alanon Books.
or a Novel that I' currently enjoying... 
I KNOW He will take it from me, I just have to Let It Go. 
"Let Go and Let God.," GOD= GOOD ORDERLY DIRECTION. "Keep Looking Up." 
" Keep moving f o r w a r d. " (o ya., one Tea2 helped me to see and add to my list of favs is to ask myself..."How Important Is It?" Is it Worth my Serenity Today? 
The classical music helps at a different level. 
leads me and my mind to a calm ... will help your thoughts to clear. and you will begin to feel better. I have it playing in the background in all the rooms I spend time in... its on all the time. i have it playing low thru the night as well...(it is on real low...) almost to where it can not be heard... but its there. my mind can hear it. i have to admit that overall i feel and have felt better and better.... each day. ((STAY STRONG))
HUG)) " Work It Because Your Worth It! "