The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
hey u guys, the salesman who handled the job, that i had "screwed up" told me in a very nice email "rosie what U did was fixed--- we were SECOND lowest bid---so if we dont' get the job, its over PRICE, not what U did".....
i was so relieved that i didn't "kill the company" and besides.....ONE lousey job is not going to kill a company, my boss who is a real nice lady is married to a greedy man....we submit a bid, he jacks up the price and its redicoulous....than we , of course, don't get the job.....
3 years of his doing this has taken its toll.......we may close the doors over it....it may happen, in fact i would say the chances are good that it willl
my take is " what u DWELL on becomes your higher power".... i am not going to let FEAR be my higher power.....if we "go under" i'll get on unemployment....rest a month as i brush up on my skills, and than look for another job......
as i reconnect with me, i reconnect to my higher self within, and i just have to do what i can do.....detach from the outcome....
i have always believed i must pray to that part of the SOURCE that is within me....why do i feel so disconnected so much???? becuz it is going to take TIME for me to reconnect...but i see shards of progress...
lately i have been triggering MAJOR., but a friend of mine in acoa and i are going to be "sponser partners" we will sponser each other...and i am getting into more meets.....went to two REAL gr8 meets this weekend.....
my old sponser and i split...her timing was unbelievable....i am having ptsd symptoms BIG time over my potential job loss and she decides to "back off" from me.......well, its funny, i really wasn't even shocked..nothing much DOES shock me anymore.......some folks are for a life time...some are "here today--gone tomorow" and i have learned enough flexibility in this program to better just "ride it out--don't fight it--let it GO"...say "God bless and good luck"......but i did think for a second "omg on top of THIS?? i get THIS???" but u know what?????
since the split i have been in two REAL good meets, got a "recovery partner" and GR8 support from my sister and my best friend in the whole world (THIRTY years of mutual loyalty and love with each other)..., who called me today and really offered her help and support .......
so, i think if u give love, u receive it....i am......
tomorow i'll walk into work, who knows how long we will be "there" but whatever.....i made sure my mortgage is paid for a year if i can no longer handle it on my own ---- i get extra $500 per month for 3 months on unemployment insurance i bought for $16 per month....my credit card payments are insured.......
there ARE things i can do.....there ARE people whom i can count on to BE THERE for me......
i am going to dwell on my trust in me and my higher self within that i can take care of me........instead of the gloom and doom.....i just have to keep teaching me that i am a DIFERENT me....a BETTER me....a HEALTHIER me.....and "go with it"
